Reader Question:
Last April me and my boyfriend broke up. After some time of not speaking, we started communicating again. He started telling me he missed me and he loves me.
I know I still love him, but when I asked if there was ever a possibility of us dating again, he said no. When I tried to tell him I couldn’t be just friends, he said he wants me in his life.
Now after I have built up the strength to stay, he’ll go a whole day without saying anything.
Are any of these signs that he might actually consider wanting me back, or is something else happening?
-Darius (Illinois)
Brian Rzepczynski’s Answer:
Hi Darius!
Please be careful and protect your heart in these situations. Whenever someone tells you he doesn’t have an interest in dating, BELIEVE him! This will save you much time, energy and heartache.
Based on your description, it sounds like your ex cares very much for you and does want you in his life in some capacity.
Based on his statement of intention and his inconsistent contact with you since then, these might indicate signs of his desire for a friendship only.
You want to be careful to not let your hopes cloud your judgment and see things that might keep you hooked and unable to get closure.
While these scenarios sometimes do work out in the ways you’re hoping for, they are often low on the probability scale.
Your energies will be better spent grieving the loss of the relationship and deciding whether you can remain friends with him or if you require some separation to allow yourself time to downshift from boyfriends to just friends.
Hang in there, my friend! All the best with your decision!
Dr. Brian
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