I’m Attracted to My Co-Worker. Do You Have Any Advice for Me?

I am 31, single, gay and extremely attracted to a co-worker. The problem is he is 64, married, straight and anti-gay. His own son is gay and they have a bad relationship. When I first started working with him, he took me under his wing and was so nice. Now he is aloof and avoids me. I know I will never have him, but this attraction is killing me. Any advice?-Mike (Maryland)

Hi Mike!

I’m glad you are able to see beyond your infatuation and recognize that this dilemma is inherently sabotaging. It sucks, doesn’t it?!

You’re in a precarious position because you have to see this man on a daily basis, making the ability for you to lose this crush more difficult.

It’s important not to confuse his kindness with a reciprocal interest obviously.

My suggestion would be to minimize the amount of personal contact and fraternization you have with him, keeping conversations strictly professional and channeling your energies and fantasies toward men who are more physically and emotionally available to you.

By positioning yourself in more rewarding dating venues and opportunities, and replacing the lustful imagery of him with more tangible objects of desire, you’ll find your feelings for him will change if you’re being consistent and diligent about it.

I wish you all the best!

Dr. Brian

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.