I’m Attracted to My Co-Worker. Do You Have Any Advice for Me?

Brian Rzepczynski

Written by: Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW, is “The Gay Love Coach." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I am 31, single, gay and extremely attracted to a co-worker. The problem is he is 64, married, straight and anti-gay. His own son is gay and they have a bad relationship.

When I first started working with him, he took me under his wing and was so nice. Now he is aloof and avoids me. I know I will never have him, but this attraction is killing me.

Any advice?

-Mike (Maryland)

Brian Rzepczynski’s Answer:

Hi Mike!

I’m glad you are able to see beyond your infatuation and recognize that this dilemma is inherently sabotaging. It sucks, doesn’t it?!

You’re in a precarious position because you have to see this man on a daily basis, making the ability for you to lose this crush more difficult.

It’s important not to confuse his kindness with a reciprocal interest obviously.

My suggestion would be to minimize the amount of personal contact and fraternization you have with him, keeping conversations strictly professional and channeling your energies and fantasies toward men who are more physically and emotionally available to you.

By positioning yourself in more rewarding dating venues and opportunities, and replacing the lustful imagery of him with more tangible objects of desire, you’ll find your feelings for him will change if you’re being consistent and diligent about it.

I wish you all the best!

Dr. Brian

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