Reader Question:
I am overweight but a great person. Men don’t want to give it a chance unless they want just sex or money.
Why are men so superficial?
-C.J. (Pennsylvania)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Dear C.J.,
Men tend to be more visually wired than women. Couple that with a hyper focus on youth and beauty in the gay community and good men like you often get overlooked.
I assure you that you are not alone and I encourage you to examine your choices in mates.
Are you in fact overlooking some great people because you may have also internalized the focus on good looks yourself?
My suggestion would be to use an online dating site in a different way. Instead of beefing up your physical or financial attributes to attract someone, write in a deeply personal way about your values.
Authentic people attract other authentic people. Talk sincerely about what you have learned in life so far and what your goals are.
If your online profile is a mundane list of height, salary and zip codes, you won’t passionately energize anyone.
Be the standout person who is real and you will find a real relationship.
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