I Tried Elite Singles & It Actually Felt Refreshingly Serious

Overview

While most dating apps gamify love, EliteSingles makes no apology for considering it serious business. Founded in 2008, EliteSingles strikes me as retro, even quaint, for asking users to take a personality test and look beyond pictures to gauge compatibility. That earnestness of intention can have a big appeal to the educated and successful (aka elite singles) seeking relief from the superficial hookup culture often blamed on apps. I think it makes sense to use a more rigorous dating service to gain some clarity. With the (sizable) caveats that I used the site for just 10 days and on the free membership tier, it struck me as broadly delivering on its promise of more thoughtful, focused daters.

• Visit the website »

Update: EliteSingles announced it is shutting down on April 30, 2026 after 16 years in business.

I’ve spent 10+ years cycling on and off the apps. My experience has been mixed and, especially recently, defined by fatigue. Like many of my peers, I’ve grown weary of swiping. 

As more people cancel their subscriptions and succumb to dating app fatigue, I wonder if it could spell a resurgence of old-school matchmaking sites. 

Many people feel that the apps aren’t working anymore. So why not try another tack?

EliteSingles is one of the biggest names in the mix, often spoken of alongside eharmony and OkCupid as a platform for people seeking serious relationships. Indeed, I found “serious” to be a defining word of EliteSingles when I went to sign up. 

The site makes no secret of catering to educated professionals, even emphasizing the percentage of degree-holders in its user base.

The question is: Can old-school dating sites still work for app-addled daters like me?

It might land as snobby to some (the name doesn’t help) — but that market for a more prescriptive, particular dater undeniably exists. Part of my own dissatisfaction with dating apps is their shallowness, so I’m going in with an open mind. 

My Experience Joining EliteSingles (4 Steps)

I found the signup process for EliteSingles to be quite demanding. For example, even if you have no intention of paying for membership, you still have to finish a fairly in-depth personality test to create an account.

It’s more involved than uploading a few photos and answering a handful of random app prompts. I’ll take you through it.

Step 1: Enter Basic Information

I put in my email address, verified it with a six-digit code, and created an account.

This is the information about myself that I was required to give:

• My name (2 characters min, 30 characters max)
• Location (by city)
• Date of birth
• My gender (from only two options: female or male)
• The type of relationship I’m looking for (friend, long-term, casual dating, marriage, not sure)
• Level of educational attainment (from no formal education to doctorate level)
• My occupation (I could write it in or select it from a list)
• If I have children

I could choose to answer or skip these fields: my political ideology, my religious beliefs, qualities that describe me, how I feel about having children later, my smoking habits, my drinking habits, and my interests in art, music, or entertainment.

Step 2: Who Am I & What Am I Looking For?

Next I had an opportunity to introduce myself to potential matches in my own words.

There was a “Tell us about yourself” window with space for up to 2,000 characters and a reminder that profiles with bios get 50% more matches.

And then I was choosing basic things I wanted in a partner:

• Gender (again, either female or male, and I couldn’t select both)
• Distance (in miles, it went up to 1,000)
• Age range

I knew EliteSingles would use my answers to determine compatibility matches, so I tried to be thoughtful and intentional about it. I had to resist the temptation to rush and click through the questions without giving them proper consideration.

Step 3: Add Photos

I was required to add at least two photos to complete my profile. I couldn’t skip that step.

In prompting me to upload photos, EliteSingles reminded me that profiles with three pictures have a higher chance of getting more matches.

I managed to upload three, after a struggle: the uploading process on the desktop site was not what I’d call user-friendly (and not much improved by the app when I tried later). 

Some of my photos ended up being awkwardly cropped, making my face appear gigantic to the lucky matches who viewed my page.

“Only compatible members are able to see your photos,” EliteSingles reminded me.

Step 4: Adding Prompts (Optional)

Having selected pictures for my profile, EliteSingles let me view profiles and explore matches. But I could also continue editing and perfecting my profile. The prompts section beckoned, “Move past the profile stats — choose a prompt and share your story.”

This section included prompts on the subject of my passions, hobbies, and interests. And I could answer straightforward questions about my favorite holiday tradition, my relationship goals, and even things I don’t like. The questions were diverting, even enjoyably so.

EliteSingles has a variety of prompts that take real thought to complete.

I found being given space to reflect on what I’m looking for in a partner was productive, and it even shed light on some points that I hadn’t previously clarified to myself.

It kept me on my toes. Some of the filtering questions were surprisingly helpful in clarifying to myself what I’m looking for in a partner. I found it rather hard to gauge the importance of religious faith and my comfort levels with a partner having kids.

I liked that EliteSingles questioned me about deep things like:

• Where I feel most at home.
• Things I’m thankful for.
• My relationship goals.

Such questions seemed well-considered, and like they would plausibly lead to good answers and better-quality matches. 

As sensible as this questionnaire was, it would be time-intensive to complete every possible prompt and question.

It took me nearly 30 minutes to get from inputting my email address to finally uploading photos for my profile, by which time I was ready for a screen break. 

So I paused progress on editing my profile prompts and decided to pick it back up later.

By now, I was well and truly fatigued by the detail demanded of me by EliteSingles just to sign up. 

Still, I assumed, it must surely pay off in the matchmaking.

The Browsing Begins for Free

When I started browsing profiles, the earnest tone EliteSingles established from the jump did seem to filter down to its users. The profiles I encountered were complete and well-considered.

I saw many genuine singles who know who they are and what they are looking for out of life and love.

The summary of their essentials and personally written bios gave me another perspective on their character, and one that felt reliable. 

On Hinge, it’s easy for someone to claim that they’re an outgoing social butterfly. On EliteSingles, you can check their “Extraversion” score and see if they’re higher, below, or within the average.

How the Matching Works

Having completed EliteSingles’ registration questionnaire, it occurred to me that the site was probably now more knowledgeable about me, my inner workings, and preferences than even my immediate family. I could only hope it translated to more precise matchmaking.

As with most online dating platforms, EliteSingles is somewhat cagey about the specific workings of its “intelligent, thoughtful” AI-driven matchmaking. 

Users are assured that the process goes beyond “simply comparing profiles” and personality test responses, but, in assessing compatibility, the site certainly takes into account similar interests, backgrounds, and values. 

EliteSingles suggests profiles at a good clip, and I saw a reasonable influx of matches, perhaps reflecting my age (34), gender (female), and very inclusive range given for dating radius.

After one week, I had about 50 likes, but I couldn’t see who’d liked me as a free member. I could only message with mutual matches (meaning we both liked each other), so not being able to see my likes limited how many conversations I could get into.

As is so often the case with online dating, EliteSingles’ algorithm is said to improve with time spent sending likes and messages. It could pick up on (just for example) my preference for men with big noses and refine its suggested matches accordingly. 

What’s Unique About the Matching? EliteSingles takes its job of connecting ambitious professionals seriously, giving users the option to name their partner’s preferred education, religion, and even politics.

Minimal Messaging For Free

Where the experience of EliteSingles really fell down for me was the same as with the apps: in the messaging. I received 15-odd messages in my time on the site. Nearly all were just a smile, as in, “Mikey sent you a smile.” 

Only one man managed a complete sentence — or rather three, though they were to-the-point: “Hi. Literally just signed up! Get in touch if you fancy a chat!”

Overall, I didn’t feel like there was much in the way of conversation. Maybe that would’ve changed if I’d been more forthcoming with likes (it requires a mutual match to chat). 

Despite the wealth of information available on this more traditional matchmaking platform, it seems that we still struggle to strike up a conversation with strangers or even to know what to say.

What I Like So Far

I like that I can set a distance radius between 10 and 1,000 miles to indicate how far I’m willing to travel to meet a potential partner.

I appreciated the security measures in place to prevent profile images from being shared around the internet — they don’t come up on search engine results, for example.

I like that the profiles were detailed, and it seemed like users put effort into making a good impression.

I prefer EliteSingles’ algorithmic matchmaking to reading between the lines of profiles on the apps.

What I Don’t Like So Far

Maybe this is just me being spoiled by swiping on the apps — EliteSingles felt clunky to navigate.

The other way in which EliteSingles seems a bit backward is in its refusal to acknowledge any other identities than “man” and “woman.” While the site is now inclusive of same-sex-attracted users, there are no accommodations at all for nonbinary or trans people.

The only scope for expressing gender or sexual fluidity is on your profile, but that could put you at risk of breaching the site’s code of conduct, specifying no “objectionable material.”

With no mention of sex preferences or ethical nonmonogamy, EliteSingles seems to have taken the view that serious dating is at odds with free and frank talk of sex.

That might be the one blind spot in its otherwise comprehensive focus on compatibility.

Cost Breakdown (What’s Free & What’s Not)

It’s free to sign up for EliteSingles, and free members can: 

• create and edit a profile
• browse 3 recommended matches per day
• send 10 likes per day
• chat with matches

But without handing over my credit card details, my movements on the site were restricted in terms of the search filters I could use and lists of profiles I could view. Once I was a paid member, I wasn’t guaranteed matches, but I had more of a fighting chance to make something happen.

EliteSingles is upfront that its free membership is intended as only a taster, “to allow users to see if they like the site.” 

To unlock advanced filters and about three times as many recommended matches, here’s what it will cost (at the time of writing):

It’s worth noting that each subscription is taken in a single payment upfront.

I paid for a one-month subscription and made sure to turn off auto-renewal to avoid recurring charges. Here are the premium features I got:

Filtering by height and drinking habits isn’t worth the upgrade, in my opinion. The big perks are seeing more profiles and, most crucially, knowing who had liked my profile. That makes a monumental difference in being able to make a match and unlock chatting.

As a free member, I was waiting for matches to show up in my inbox. As a paid member, I could go into my likes list and create matches at will.

As I mentioned previously, my profile garnered 50 likes, so that was a lot of men to sort through. And that’s in addition to the 10 recommended profiles Elite Singles gave me every day.

I’d argue that paying a membership fee recommits you to your goal of finding love. It certainly helps Elite Singles foster a culture of intentional daters. 

Requiring users to pay also acts as a safeguard against catfishes, bots, and time-wasters. 

Pro Tip: Since the chatting is between matches only, you will need to be proactive about liking profiles to create opportunities to connect.

User Demographics: Who Uses EliteSingles?

The clue is in the name – though I would say the emphasis on “elite” is as much a marketing tactic as it is a reflection of its user base. 

EliteSingles isn’t shy about trumpeting its professional and highly educated user base: More than 70% of its members are educated to Bachelor’s level or higher, according to the UK site.

The platform says this means its users are more understanding of the balance often needing to be struck between looking for love and managing busy work lives: “If you are hoping to meet interesting singles who understand success and ambition, you are in the right place.”

Data Breakdown

User Base: All Singles

EliteSingles caters to straight, gay, and lesbian daters who are looking for a serious commitment in their lives.

Popularity: 2 Million

Over 2 million people visit EliteSingles each month, with more than 165,000 new members signing up every month. The site has a very targeted user base of well-educated and ambitious professionals.

Gender Ratio: M:44% – F:56%

On EliteSingles, you'll find slightly more women than men using the site to meet people, but the overall gender ratio is relatively equal.

Maturity matters here. I’d say between 30 and 55 is their target demographic. More than 90% of members are over 30, and about 40% of EliteSingles’ members are over 50, according to the site.

EliteSingles’ emphasis on the serious-minded search for soulmates — plus the ability to restrict searches by religious affiliation — makes it a sound choice for Christian dating.

By Age

I’d say it was rare to see anyone under 30. The most common ages of the profiles I saw were in their 40s. Mature daters gather here.

By Orientation

Straight is the overwhelming norm. EliteSingles has functionality for gay, lesbian, and bisexual dating though. I didn’t see anyone identifying as queer, nonbinary, or transgender.

Other Demographics

I saw more diversity in terms of race if I widened my search parameters to 100+ miles. I could sort by religion to get more alignment there. Christian dating profiles seemed to be the most common.

Most of the people I saw were college-educated, and many said they had or wanted children.

Main Takeaway: EliteSingles members are typically professionals who are well-educated and financially well-off. In terms of romance, they are perhaps best defined by their desire to date seriously and find a committed relationship.

My Opinion: EliteSingles Has Good Options, If You’re Willing to Travel

Personally, I appreciated EliteSingles’ willingness to facilitate long-distance relationships without sacrificing the seriousness of intent. I live in a small, semi-rural city with a very limited dating pool. I’m open to faraway connections, but I’ve struggled to communicate that on apps without it coming across as seeking a hookup. 

EliteSingles had a broad and flexible search radius by distance that did seem tailored to people who might be looking for connection and even commitment without necessarily constant proximity.

From the profiles I was served, it seemed like the men here put real effort into their responses. Many strived to give a representative impression of who they are and what they are looking for. 

I felt like I had a far better sense of them as people than could be communicated through the limited confines of an app.

Despite EliteSingles’ oft-stated emphasis on serious professionals and highly educated daters, some profiles had clearly slipped through the cracks with only one-word responses, several sections skipped, and no photos, but perhaps that’s to be expected from any platform above a certain size.

Safety Features

EliteSingles verifies every dating profile by requiring the user’s email to be entered on the website and their phone number on the app. This is a fairly standard procedure to protect against spam accounts. 

EliteSingles says it’s proactive about cracking down on “rogue accounts” (and I’m guessing only the most dedicated scammers would make it to the end of that registration questionnaire). 

It claims to employ an “entire team of agents” dedicated to verifying every profile created on the site, with stringent — and human — verification checks to “every partner proposal you receive”. 

There are security checks for each photo posted by a member as well as safeguards to protect their personal information.

That said, EliteSingles advises users to use common sense when interacting on the site and to be cautious about what personal information they disclose, particularly in the early stages. Any requests for money should be reported to customer care, the site’s online safety guide advises, as they are “one of the strongest indicators of a fraudulent account.”

Users should also cease all contact entirely if they feel pressured, exposed, or otherwise uncomfortable.

I had no safety concerns during my time on the site, though I did receive a message from a man urging me not to give up on my thus-far unlucky search for love, which would be best described as an extended neg. 

Personally, I didn’t come across any profiles I felt were obviously fake.

EliteSingles claims that its security processes, including manual profile verification, SSL encryption, and fraud detection technology, remove “the majority of these rogue accounts.” 

When it comes down to it, no dating platform will ever be entirely free from fake profiles, but EliteSingles at least has protective measures in place, encouraging users to “report suspicious or abusive activity.” I also appreciated its guidelines on how to protect yourself while dating.

Pros & Cons

Whether EliteSingles is worth the money depends very much on what the subscription fee means to you and how determined you are to get a return on your investment. 

The membership levels are the site’s way to generate commitment. It encourages follow-through and focus through the search for love. Furthermore, EliteSingles’ targeting professional, mature, and Christian singles means its user base is more motivated than most online dating pools.

I would say, however, for such a hefty membership fee, I would expect a better user experience (and certainly a more functional Android app). 

EliteSingles Is a Good Option for Professionals — If You’re Serious

Just signing up to EliteSingles injected new energy and focus into my half-hearted search for a partner. The thoughtful and oh-so-thorough profile creation process was enjoyable, and it clarified what I would want in a partner and gave me useful ways to ask for it.

From the glimpses of other users I was permitted on my free membership, this spirit of earnest inquiry — amplified by EliteSingles’ oft-repeated focus on serious dating — did filter down to profiles, which were, in my experience, well-considered and comprehensive.

However, (in my albeit brief time on the site) I found the introductory messages lacking, with would-be matches largely preferring to introduce themselves with few words or a smile with no follow-up. 

It seems that even paying a sizable monthly fee doesn’t necessarily commit you to coming up with a conversation starter. (I wonder, could self-identifying as an “elite single” really just be one big ego trip?)

This informed my key takeaway from my experience with EliteSingles. As tempting as it may be to blame the technology and switch apps in the hopes of landing on a more productive pool, in truth, which platform you use is probably less influential on your chances of finding a partner than the spirit in which you go about it.

We could all stand to be more focused, forthcoming, and serious about what we’re looking to get out of online dating. That “elite” energy matters whether you’re on EliteSingles or another platform. What you get out of EliteSingles will depend on what you put into it, as with any other online dating service.