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Online Dating
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Dating used to be so much simpler. A single person could go run errands or visit a local bar, meet that mystery person, and get their number. In-person meetings were key, and old-school daters had no choice but to actually put themselves out there.
Nowadays, you can find a date with the swipe of your fingers. Technology has made it so much more convenient to date from your living room, your local coffee shop — or even from the shower. Having such easy access to dating can be a blessing, but it can also be a burden.
Online dating has complicated things for singles who increasingly report feeling bogged down by too many options.
For better or worse, pretty much everyone interacts online. Dating apps have become oversaturated with millions of people seeking love, romance, distraction, conversation, and perhaps a quick ego boost.
As of 2025, the number of dating app users increased to over 350 million people, according to expert estimates.1
Popular dating apps make it easy for all types of characters to connect, and that can be a mixed bag. The world of dating apps is full of many wonderful people, but it also has some sketchy and dangerous people.
I like the way online dater Laurie Perry describes it: “Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it’s easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty.”2
The online dating space is packed with people, which makes it hard for singles to make a true connection.
Imagine going on Tinder, which has been downloaded 630 million times since 2012, and swiping over 40 profiles in just one day3. It would leave anyone feeling exhausted. You quickly reach information overload.
Many millennials have been swiping since 2012 when Tinder launched. Now in their 30s and 40s, it makes sense this generation is most likely4 to report feeling burnt out by the apps. Yes, even more than Gen Z (79%) and baby boomers, only 70% of whom reported fatigue.
The swiping game is rough. It encourages snap judgments based on the photos and a cursory glance through the profile. First impressions matter in the real world as well, of course, but they’re absolutely critical in online dating.
On average, single women spent about 3.19 seconds viewing a dating profile they rejected by swiping left, and that only increased to 6.91 seconds for profiles they eventually swiped right on.5
Most people say the first thing they notice about a person is their appearance, and this is amplified on dating apps.
Pictures matter more than words on dating apps. The photos will draw the eye and tell a story about who you are much quicker than your answers to any prompts.
This creates a lot of pressure for online daters who want to stand out and garner more likes with the best possible photos. If you only have three seconds to impress a match, your photo game needs to be on point.
It’s natural for a person to agonize over their photos and spend a lot of time overthinking every word on their dating profile. Newcomers to online dating may come in with high hopes and high expectations, but those tend to be dashed by the reality of this fast-paced and impersonal world.
Over 54% of female participants in a survey said they have felt overwhelmed by the number of messages they have received on the apps.6
Meanwhile, over 64% of male survey respondents said they felt insecure about the lack of messages they received. The issues with online dating can deter a single person from continuing to put themselves out there.
Mental health can deteriorate from prolonged swiping. Having access to hundreds of profiles and feeling the urge to check your phone every minute can be stressful and exhausting.
The average American checks their phone about 96 times per day.7 Social media and our text messages are already distracting enough, and adding dating apps can inflate your screen time stats like crazy.
Comparison culture is a real thing when it comes to online dating. Seeing many people have model-quality pictures on dating apps can cause feelings of anxiety and insecurity.
A single person can quickly start to spiral into negativity when comparing themselves to idealized versions of their peers.
Single women who are looking for love will likely have to field some untoward advances in the online world.
Over 56% of women have been sent a sexually explicit message while on a dating app.8 And I think we all know, not all those were solicited or appreciated.
Many dating apps now allow users to explicitly lay out their intentions, in an effort to weed out these unwanted messages. Others, such as Match, have turned toward AI to dissuade bad behavior. 9
Users should be clear about their boundaries if they want to weed out potential matches that don’t align with their beliefs.
Online dating may feel like you’ve signed up for a part-time job as you juggle different apps, message your matches, and schedule dates whenever you find free time from your other responsibilities.
If you feel frustration building when it comes to dating apps and sites, you’re not alone. According to recent studies, over 79% of adults have experienced burnout while using online dating apps.10
The same survey reported that about 1 in 3 individuals agreed they need counseling after online dating.
This is a concerning statistic, but it doesn’t mean online dating is inherently bad. Counseling is a good way to manage relationship expectations and build up the communication skills needed to succeed in the dating world.
In other words, singles seeking therapy aren’t necessarily doing so because of psychological damage. They’re working to find a way to get back into the game.
Online dating is a convenient way to meet a lot of new people at once, but it isn’t perfect. Burnout has become increasingly common for singles who have been on the swipe carousel for a while with no good results to show for it.
Online daters can overcome burnout and swiping fatigue, but it takes a conscious effort. Singles should take care of their mental health and take breaks when they feel rundown.
Remember to prioritize your needs first and engage in real-world activities that spark joy for you. Whether you’re joining a knitting circle or having a drink with friends, it’s good to put down the screen and remember that real life is so much bigger than a mutual match.
Get out there and do you. Dating apps will be waiting for you when you return.
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