I Compared the Male and Female Experience on VictoriaMilan — Here's What I Learned

Overview

VictoriaMilan is a sex-positive dating site aimed at married and attached daters. Its unique anonymity tools include photo masks and a quick exit button. I joined the platform with one male profile and one female profile to compare the dating experience. I quickly upgraded the male account because that’s needed for unlimited chatting. I opted not to upgrade my female account and rely on the free perk of responding to any premium plus members who messaged me. The gender divide is clear, but not in the way I expected. On both profiles, I got a decent number of likes, but the male profile received 32 messages and, as of writing this, the female profile hasn’t gotten a single message.

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Online dating can feel like a safe space to explore sexual curiosities. But the general apps aren’t for everyone. Being in a relationship and pursuing polyamory on a general dating site can be a tricky business.

That’s where an affair dating site like VictoriaMilan can help. The platform is designed to give married people an opportunity to connect safely and, to the extent they want, anonymously. 

I joined VictoriaMilan using both male and female profiles to see how the experience varied based on my gender. While I found more attractive women than men, I was pleasantly surprised by the number of high-quality profiles on the platform.

Getting Started on VictoriaMilan

I wanted to check out VictoriaMilan to see if the site was actually as useful as it claims to be for finding affair partners. As soon as I got to the homepage, I was hit with statistics about the site: over 5 million members, a near-equal gender ratio, and 16,000+ new profiles added daily.

These were all promising numbers, but I was especially struck by the 53% men to 47% women gender ratio. An equal gender breakdown on a dating site is hard to come by, especially in the casual dating space.

I was feeling hopeful as I started making my profiles — first, a female profile, followed by a male one.

Step 1: Fill Out Basic Demographic Information

The signup process on VictoriaMilan was simplicity itself. The whole thing, including filling out optional sections on my profile, took me about 10 minutes each time, and there were no glitches or lengthy response sections. 

I started by entering my gender, relationship status, desired gender, and email address. 

To complete the initial setup, I got a verification link in my email, and I was asked to create my username and add my date of birth. 

With all of that information in, my profile was good to go, and I could view profiles. If I wanted to, I could keep filling in more details, and I chose to go this route because I think more complete profiles perform better.

Step 2: Fill Out Your Profile

Next it was time to fill in the details that can make a profile seem more like a person and less like a catfish. 

I started by adding what I was seeking on the site. Given that I was trying to get a sense of what the site was like, I thought that “Just curious and looking” was a pretty accurate description.

I had the option to add turn-ons to my profile. Most of the options for turn-ons were actually pretty wholesome, like “self-confidence” and “intelligence.” There were spicy options as well. I thought that adding these was a nice conversation starter for getting your profile off the ground.

I then had to add my height, weight, body type, and my attractiveness level, with the options being “very attractive,” “attractive,” or “average.” These were all mandatory fields.

I’m curious how accurate users tend to be at rating their own attractiveness. I would assume that most people just put themselves as “very attractive,” but maybe lying about that isn’t the best course of action when your pictures are right there!

Step 3: Photo Upload

All that was left to do was add my profile picture. Or I could skip this step and go right to browsing. Photos aren’t required, but profiles with photos understandably get more likes and messages, so I went ahead and added a selfie.

After uploading the pic, I found that VictoriaMilan has photo privacy tools to help mask my identity. I could completely or partially blur the picture with a single click. Or I could choose from a selection of mask graphics to add to my face in the photo.

I chose a mask, and I was very pleased with the result. It didn’t seem sketchy. It seemed flirty and mysterious.

I think this is a great feature for VictoriaMilan, specifically because its users are looking to be discreet. Photos are useful for dating decisions, but they can reveal someone’s real-life identity. For an affair site, a masked photo is the perfect middle ground.

Overall, I found the profile creation process to be pretty straightforward with the right amount of detail. The signup process was the same for both my male and female profiles.

I think the site gave enough opportunities to add some personality without making it too long. And it didn’t take very much time to get fully onboarded.

Free Browsing Experience

With my profile finished, I landed on the homepage of VictoriaMilan. On both my male and female profiles, I was prompted to watch VictoriaMilan’s promotional video. 

It wasn’t very long, but it didn’t give me any new information. It just served to set a sultry tone and hype up how steamy connections are on the site. There was a small, nearly invisible “Skip” button below the video.

Overall, I’m a big fan of VictoriaMilan’s site layout. It is so easy to navigate. I had zero notes.

There’s no swiping and no hoops to jump through for mutual matches. It’s just a Search tab, and I can adjust filters by location, age, and distance from me. I can also click a button to prioritize new profiles, favorites, or those online now.

VictoriaMilan has a ton of search filters. The “More Criteria” button offered a list of specific profile filters, including drinking habits, sex drive, diet, and height.

I could also look for profiles that said they had a “love nest” available. That’s an important practical consideration when conducting an affair, and I was glad to see the VictoriaMilan team had thought about the details.

In terms of profile quality, it was really a mixed bag.

About 50% of the VictoriaMilan profiles I saw did not have photos (women were slightly more likely to have a pic). And if they did have a photo, they almost always hid their face (which is fair. I did too).

Thankfully, I had the option to narrow my search to profiles that have photos attached. So I could skip the photo-less ones pretty easily.

Many of the female profiles I encountered were actually quite thoughtfully filled out with lots of personal information and opportunities to connect on things like hobbies and work life. Turn-ons tended to be listed on every profile.

Some people described themselves as bored or curious. One man made me laugh with his byline, “Already in a relationship. Not looking to tie anyone down…unless you’re into that? ;)”

No matter what page I was on, a Panic Button always sat in the bottom right corner to whisk me away if I needed a fast exit. It took me to YouTube’s homepage.

Likes, Views, and Messaging

I first noticed the difference in the free versus paid experience when it came to liking profiles.

Only paid members can see who has liked them. As a free member, I was seeing the notifications saying I had been liked (nice ego boost), but I couldn’t actually see who those admirers were.

I could only read my messages — not respond to them until after I upgraded. I needed to wait for a premium member to message me first if I wanted to chat for free. That didn’t turn out to be a feasible strategy for my female profile.

I was able to like profiles to try to get interest, and the profiles I’d already liked were listed conveniently in my inbox in case I wanted to find them again. It was good to see that Victoria Milan didn’t cap the number of likes I could send for free, so I had ample opportunity to get things going.

I’m not sure if it was due to having a premium profile or simply how men versus women do on VictoriaMilan, but I got way more traction on my male profile than my female one.

My male profile received 32 messages, 40 likes, and 50 page visits. My female profile had 6 likes and 11 profile visits. The only message came from my male profile to test that the inbox was working as it should.

The men in my area weren’t very chatty, but the women sure were.

The messages I received were respectful, friendly, and encouraged further conversation. I was pretty impressed with the quality. Many of them had photos and complete profiles, so if I were a straight guy, I think I’d be pretty stoked.

My Male Profile Experience Was a Triumph

My experience on VictoriaMilan as a man was honestly pretty great. I found plenty of profiles of attractive women (most of which seemed real), and they were surprisingly forward. Many women liked my profile and messaged me first.

Two dozen messages within a week would be a decent result for a young single woman. For man, it’s astounding.

There were many women on VictoriaMilan in my area of Central Florida. And they seemed genuinely excited to date and meet up. Not all of them had photos up, but that’s to be expected on an affair dating site.

Some people were surprisingly direct. One woman messaged, “Caught my husband cheating. Want to have some fun and help me get revenge?”

If you’re a man looking for a discreet dating site, VictoriaMilan seems like a pretty good option.

My Female Profile Experience Was a Letdown

On the flip side, my experience as a woman was mediocre.

As a free member, I was limited to viewing and liking profiles, and that was only fun for the first day or so. Guys really play things close to the vest and don’t reveal much about their personal lives. That’s fair, given this is an affair site, but it made it more difficult to get a sense for who’d be a good match.

I was generally disappointed by the quality of male profiles. For some reason, fewer of the male profiles had photos. Many skipped the optional sections. And none messaged me first.

If you’re a guy, this is good news for you. Less competition! This isn’t an overcrowded swiping app like Tinder where you’ll struggle to get noticed.

Day after day, my inbox got zero messages. I sent likes at an increasingly aggressive pace to try to drum up some interest. I changed my photo. I added a longer bio. The lack of interest was baffling because I’m used to seeing female accounts far outpacing male accounts when it comes to online dating.

My best guess is that because I kept the female profile on the free membership, I wasn’t boosted in search results as highly as women who paid. Both profiles were set to the same location of Central Florida and the same age of 35.

I thought perhaps I was running into a bit of ageism. Maybe men were only chasing 20-somethings here. Out of curiosity, I created another account saying I was 27 (there was no age verification to catch this fib). I got five likes and five profile views, and still no messages, so I actually did worse as a younger woman. Go figure!

Paid Upgrades: What It Costs & Is It Worth It?

Given my experience on VictoriaMilan, I would definitely recommend paying for the upgrade. It dramatically changed my activity level. Being able to see who liked and viewed your profile is also a game changer. So is the ability to send unlimited likes and messages.

While gender was certainly a factor, I had far more success on my paid profile than my free one.

If you’re interested, here’s the price breakdown:

It makes sense to pay for three months and get the lowest rate. I think three months is a reasonable amount of time to give a dating site a chance.

But if you’re a true commitment-phobe, the one-month plan amounts to about $45 total, so it’s not all that expensive (as long as you remember to turn off auto-renewal).

And keep an eye out for deals going on when you register. At the time of my writing this, VictoriaMilan has a 33% off promotion going on.

Pros & Cons

I liked the overall site design and how it displayed multiple profiles at once. It was straightforward and glitch-free. I only wish more profiles were completely filled out and included photos.

VictoriaMilan focuses on helping affair seekers stay undercover, so it isn’t your typical photos-everywhere swiping experience. Many profiles don’t have photos or don’t show their faces, which is fair, but it also makes it harder to determine attraction at a glance.

Obviously the biggest bummer for me was that my female profile didn’t get a single message (except the one that I sent myself). I think this is where the payment system’s gender divide really comes into play. Paid members have a clear advantage over free members.

For men, this can be a big incentive for paying because you won’t face the same competition that’s on free-to-chat apps. You’ll be the only game in town, essentially.

My Final Thoughts

It’s tough to trust a dating pool built on lies, but this discreet dating site did a decent job of balancing honesty and anonymity.

VictoriaMilan seems to be a pretty safe bet for finding fun users looking for casual dates. Surprisingly, my male profile got much more interest than my female profile, and paying only supercharged that effect.

I liked how simple and upfront everything was. I didn’t have to wonder why someone was messaging me. I knew where things stood and felt that everyone operated with a certain level of decorum and respect for privacy.

I never felt exposed or pressured by VictoriaMilan. The site provided tools to tiptoe into the dating world and see what options I had without giving away too much about myself. What more can you really ask for in a married dating site?