Dating Strategies For Senior Introverts

Senior Dating

9 Dating Strategies for Senior Introverts

April Braswell

Written by: April Braswell

April Braswell

April Braswell is a senior dating expert, dating coach and professional dating profile writer. She leads dating, relationship and communication skills workshops throughout California.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If you’re a senior single introvert, your idea of a fun evening may entail cuddling with your dog and binge watching Netflix. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, when you want companionship and romance, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone every now and then.

You can remain authentic to your introverted self while also interacting with new people on a regular basis. Read on to discover nine dating strategies that will lead you to love at midlife.

1. Don’t Just Focus on One Dating Strategy

As an introvert, your most natural tendency may be to select one senior dating strategy and focus exclusively on that. However, the strategies in this article all dovetail well together, creating more synchronicity when combined than when pursued one at a time.

Adapt these strategies to suit your authentic self regardless of the type of introvert you are. Select two at a time to experiment with. Get comfortable with your dating style. Then select another strategy to add to your dating habits.

2. It Can Be Easier to Meet and Talk to People on a Senior Dating Site

You’ll want to use senior dating sites and apps to efficiently put yourself out there. You can avoid the uncomfortable experience of breaking the ice with strangers at a bar. Dating sites and apps are shortcuts to finding available and interested senior singles.

Photo of online dating

Sometimes it’s easier to type about yourself than to talk about yourself.

Be sure to post great photos that are only focused on you. No group shots. Show off your shy smile and your inner self to attract a senior mate. A well-crafted profile also includes personal information, including some of your hobbies. However, don’t just cite your hobbies in generalized terms. Instead, be sure to include specifics that your prospective date can ask you more about during your pre-first date messaging.

3. Have Your Extroverted Friends Set You Up

In addition to going online to find senior romance, make use of your extroverted friends who often host parties and other activities. Become a mainstay in their social circle by attending every event they invite you to.

Then ask them if they can invite some other single seniors to introduce you to. Help your friends make the connection as smooth as possible by sharing some fun tidbits about yourself. Maybe you’re a great cook and you bring a go-to dish to each party as a conversation starter. Or maybe you’re passionate about wine and can tell the other guests some cool facts about the bottle you brought along with you.

4. Keep in Touch With Your Exes, As They Can Play Matchmaker, Too

Stay in touch with any former extroverted girlfriends or boyfriends. These are precisely the people who have a vibrant and ever-expanding social circle. Cultivate these connections.

Your ex’s dinner parties and soirees are great places for casually meeting new love interests without the pressure of it being a true blind date. And don’t fret that you’re being a burden or obligation to your exes. If you’re on good terms, then they won’t mind helping you out.

5. Develop Your Small Talk Muscles

The world often mistakes introverts as having social anxiety or being uncomfortable speaking, but that’s not true.

According to Myers-Briggs, introverts process internally, while extroverts need to talk to process their thoughts and feelings. Introverts definitely enjoy talking. They just need to find the right topics on which they’d enjoy conversing.

Photo of senior couple talking to each other

When you don’t know what to say, small talk can be your friend.

Introverts often require more small talk warmups before getting into deep conversations. Their privacy instinct means they’re not going to open up to just anyone and certainly not on the first senior date.

6. Say “Tell Me More About That…” A Lot

By asking your date to “tell me more about that,” you’re participating in the conversation while turning it back to the extrovert, who is often more comfortable chatting with strangers. “Tell me more about that” gives you something authentic to say without absconding with your responsibility to assist in carrying the conversation.

Be careful, though, not to lean on your excellent listening skills and let the extrovert just talk and talk and talk. Many extroverts are vetting your ability to engage in conversation. If you drop the dialogue exchange ball, leaving all the heavy lifting up to the extrovert, you may never form a real connection.

You can also be upfront about your shyness: “I’m really enjoying getting to know you, Jessica. Just to let you know, it takes me a few dates to be comfortable sharing more of myself with someone new.” And then feel free to insert a genuine compliment: “I’m enjoying discovering who you are. Tell me more about your love for…”

7. Let Your Dog Be Your Wingman

Most people love dogs. When you walk your dog around your neighborhood or take him or her to a dog park, you will attract other people easily. They’ll admire your dog and ask you questions, and breaking the ice becomes a nonissue.

Photo of senior woman walking dog

Walking your dog around the neighborhood or taking him to a dog park is a great way to interact with like-minded people.

You won’t have to scramble for what to say. You can just respond naturally and tell them all about your darling dog. Then graciously ask them a few questions about their pet.

8. Memorize a Few Things to Say to New Dates

Introverts often prefer to rely on a few memorized sentences and conversation topics, and that’s OK. Having a mental guide can help you get started.

Literally write out three small-talk questions you can utter in a handful of social scenarios in which you may find yourself.

Let’s take it back to your dog. For example, the conversation could go like this:

  • “Thank you! It’s a Schnauzer. Do you have a dog, too?”
  • “No I don’t have a dog, but I love animals, in general.”
  • “What kind of dog would you want to get? Also I was going to take a break and get some water for him and coffee for me. Want to join us for 10 minutes?”
  • If they say yes, then you have something fun to do. If they say no, you can say, “No problem! It was nice meeting you. Hope I see you around here at the dog park again sometime. We’re always out here on Tuesday afternoons. Have a great day!”

9. Carry Conversation Props With You All the Time

When you go out, make it easy for others to break the ice with you by always carrying something in your hand.

If you make it easy for the extroverts to break the ice, they often will. On the flip side, if you carry just the right prop, a fellow introvert may ask you about it if it’s a common interest.

For example, you can carry a book with a large print and clear font title on the cover. Ideally, select a book with a fun and inviting photo and title that attracts attention and responses.

Weave These Strategies Into Your Daily Life, and You Will Definitely See Dating Success

By weaving together a combination of these nine senior dating strategies for introverts, you can remain authentic to your temperament while seeking love after 50.

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