Survey: Is Having an AI Boyfriend or Girlfriend Cheating?

Not long ago, many folks were worried about robots taking over the planet. Now, some people are genuinely open to the idea of dating an AI boyfriend or girlfriend, with 31.26% of people who took part in our survey saying they’d be open to an AI bot ‘dating’ their partner. 

What’s changed? And what does this mean for the future of traditional relationships? 

In 2024, people are beginning to accept AI in their lives as the technology improves and becomes more widespread. In theory, AI partners are low maintenance, they don’t get jealous, and there’s no real conflict. 

But as more people learn about the technology, questions are starting to be asked on Reddit whether a person is cheating if they start to “date” an AI partner despite having a real-life one. So how are people in a committed relationship achieving a balance? Can a balance even be achieved? 

To find out, we surveyed 1,011 US citizens aged between 18 and 40 who are either dating or in a relationship to find out how they feel about their significant other having an AI boyfriend or girlfriend while in a committed relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• 56% disapprove of their partner having an AI boyfriend or girlfriend, with 59% of women surveyed against it. The most opposed are 71% of Gen Z women in relationships.
• 31% are open to AI in relationships. Notably, 40% of Gen Z singles are okay with their future partner having an AI boyfriend or girlfriend.
• 30% of millennials see AI partners as cheating, compared to just 15% of Gen Z. Interestingly, 17% of Gen Z males think AI partners can prevent cheating.
• 46% of Gen Z men in relationships compare AI dating to watching porn. In general, 21% of 35- to 40-year-olds and 17% of Gen Zers think AI dating is like watching porn.
• 15% of 18- to 24-year-olds worry their partner might leave them for an AI bot, compared to just 7% of millennials.

We analyzed the key takeaways in this survey to show who approves and disapproves of AI coming between two people, who think dating an AI bot is a form of cheating, and who says it could improve the relationship.

Over half of the people surveyed who are dating or in a relationship have a negative view of AI partners. We found that 52.59% of male respondents said they don’t want AI to get involved in their relationship, while 59.14% of women had the same view. 

This means that both sexes are generally against AI partners — but while more than a quarter (25.34%) of women see it as cheating, only 18.53% of males surveyed share the same opinion. 

That said, the answers are not all as black and white as flat-out rejection. In fact, many people have specific concerns that could potentially be resolved. 

For example, more men (19.25%) expressed concerns about secrecy, compared with 14.94% of women surveyed. This suggests that the same men may be open to their partners having an AI boyfriend on the side, but they would need reassurances about transparency and openness. 

In other words, it might be OK to have AI partners, but only if their partner is upfront about the fact that they’re dating an AI bot. 

On the other hand, 17.61% of people said they see an AI partner as a dealbreaker. If their partner expresses a desire to date an AI bot, or if a person starts dating someone who confesses they’re currently seeing an AI partner, they would end things there and then. 

More than half of people surveyed may be concerned about AI partners, but well over a quarter said they would be happy to entertain the possibility of dating AI bots despite already being in a relationship. 

Of all the people who participated in our survey, 31.26% were open to the idea of having an AI partner. 

Naturally, just like starting a polyamorous relationship, bringing AI into things has to be done the right way. Indeed, 12.56% of respondents believe generative AI could improve a relationship, provided it’s introduced in the right way. 

What’s more, partners can’t physically cheat with a robot. Instead, AI could give both partners advice and emotional support, with the upshot being that it strengthens their relationship. 

The survey found that honesty is key. While 31.26% of people support the idea of having an AI partner, 14.54% said they will only support it if their human partner is upfront and honest about their intentions with the technology. 

One reason younger people are worried about AI partners is that they fear their human partner may run away with the AI bot. 

While this sounds more like an episode of Black Mirror than reality, the concerns are genuine because more people (even those in a relationship) are spending time sending messages back and forth to AI bots. 

Where could it lead? That’s the big question, as people could become emotionally attached to their AI girlfriends and boyfriends. 

According to our studies, 15.43% of 18- to 24-year-olds are worried that their partner might eventually prefer an AI bot to themselves, while only 7.33% of 35- to 40-year-olds expressed this as a legitimate concern. 

This could be because older daters may not be as aware of the potential risks involved with the growing technology, or it could be that they simply trust their partners more.

Younger daters who are more familiar with the latest AI trends may be more wary of how easily an AI bot can mimic a human conversation, increasing the risk that their partner may abandon them in favor of a digital companion. 

Unsurprisingly, perhaps, single people are more inclined to bring an AI bot into a future relationship than married people who are already happy with how things are. 

Perhaps even more unsurprisingly, Gen Z leads the way on this one.

Just over 39% of Gen Z singles surveyed said they’d support the idea of their future partner also dating an AI bot, while 23.84% of married people would be keen to bring an AI partner into their marriage, suggesting that the traditional marriage values we’ve had for years may be starting to erode. 

Meanwhile, 55.60% of female 18- to 27-year-olds who are dating are against the idea of bringing an AI bot into their existing relationship, with the numbers surging to 71.43% for those in a committed relationship. This suggests that once there’s exclusivity, more people are against AI partners upsetting the balance of things. 

Ultimately, these findings demonstrate that the reality of dating is generally changing, with younger people helping to shape how we feel about connections. Rather than settle for a relationship with just one person, singletons (who are in the current position of not having to worry about how their partner would feel about AI coming between them) are keen to explore new ways of dating. 

Would they feel the same once they got into a relationship with another person? Potentially not. 

Can you cheat on your partner with something as impersonal as technology? According to our survey, the answer is a big ‘Yes’ for millennials, with Gen Z seemingly intent on changing the landscape of what a happy relationship looks like. 

The definition of cheating may be beginning to change now that AI is involved. No longer can you cheat on your partner with just another human being — you could also be accused of cheating on them if you get too close to a bot. 

At least, that’s how millennials feel about things. Indeed, Gen Z survey respondents were more open-minded regarding how they think about AI and cheating. According to the results of our survey, just 15.43% of 18- to 24-year-olds in a committed relationship would consider their partner to have cheated on them if they began a relationship with an AI bot, while nearly twice as many (29.74%) 35- to 40-year-olds considered it cheating. 

It may make sense that more millennials see AI partners as a form of cheating than Gen Zers. After all, Gen Z is growing up with technology, with some in this age group almost the same age as the first iPhone.

More than 16% of young male singles aged 18 to 27 believe AI partners could actually improve a relationship by teaching themselves or their partners how to do better.

The number is similar to that of 18- to 27-year-old female singles (13.60%), but it plummets vastly for those who are in a committed relationship.

In fact, no men aged 18-27 who took part in our survey and were in a relationship said AI could improve things for them or their partner, while only 3.17% of females said the same. 

This suggests that couples who are exclusive have more concerns about outside influences negatively affecting their relationships than those who are single and have not had enough relationship experience to gauge how intrusive AI software might be.

Data shows that 71.43% of Gen Z females aged 18-27 in relationships oppose the idea of AI partners, significantly higher than their single counterparts at 55.60%. When it comes to specifics, 49.21% of these women view it as cheating, and 42.86% consider it an immediate dealbreaker. In contrast, only 33.33% of males in relationships see it as cheating, and 25.00% as a dealbreaker.

Overall, 25.34% of women regard AI dating as outright cheating, compared with 18.53% of men. More women (21.22%) than men (13.94%) surveyed see it as an immediate dealbreaker, though slightly more men (15.74%) would be open to AI dating if their partner is upfront about it.

As we’ve seen, a significant number of millennials think having an AI partner is a form of cheating. On the other hand, 11.57% of people surveyed think AI can actually prevent cheating, which shows how far apart millennials and Gen Zers are when it comes to how they perceive relationships. 

How can having AI boyfriends and girlfriends prevent cheating? 

It all depends on the boundaries that a couple has set. If two people decide that infidelity is only defined by sexual intimacy with someone else, dating an AI bot means that a person can be sure their partner isn’t going to have physical relations, at least. 

Not just that, an AI partner can give a person someone else to talk to. They could talk things through with the bot and realize what is missing in their relationship, which could help them solve issues with their partner and move forward together. 

While some may see having an AI partner as a type of emotional cheating, it at least gives the couple a chance to work out why one of them needed to see an AI bot before anyone resorts to physical cheating. 

One reason people view AI partners negatively is because some people think it’s akin to watching porn. But one particular cohort particularly had this view. 

When we asked our respondents how they felt about AI involvement in a relationship, only 16.67% of 18- to 24-year-olds said it’s kind of like watching porn. This compares with 21.12% of 35- to 40-year-olds surveyed, who are worried that an AI bot might be too sexual.       

The sharpest difference is between those dating and those in a committed relationship. While 11.90% of men aged 18- to 27-years-old who are dating compared AI partners with watching porn, the numbers rocketed to 45.83% for men who are in a relationship. This highlights how our perceptions and behaviors change once we commit to someone, with 23.81% of women in a relationship expressing the same opinion. 

Naturally, there are a few things at play here. Not all AI bots are the same, with some more overtly sexual than others. Intention matters, too. If someone uses an AI bot for sexual role play and/or gratification, it can be like watching porn. 

The general rule is that it all depends on your perception of what you believe your partner is getting out of their AI boyfriend or girlfriend and, if they are using it for sexual gratification, how much it’ll affect your relationship.

Unlike a real human being, an AI bot won’t judge anyone for their curious sexual interests, which can make them a major draw. If your own sex life is suffering as a result, though, it’s time to address the root of the problem.

When we looked at where people live, we found that 37.05% of people living in the Western U.S. support AI partners. This goes against the general trend and dwarfs the 20.97% of Midwesterners who support AI — the lowest in the country. 

Indeed, these results suggest that those living in Western states such as California are more open-minded when it comes to technology, while those living elsewhere in the US see AI as a bigger threat to relationships built on traditional values, particularly people in the South. 

The gap is almost as big when it comes to who sees AI dating as a form of cheating. While 29.03% of Midwesterners view it this way, only 16.07% of those living in the West would think their partner was cheating on them if they started to see an AI bot.

Interestingly, Los Angeles citizens generally rebel against the Western consensus, with 62.50% of residents here saying they oppose AI partners. 

Most cities feel the same way, with Houston slightly bucking the trend. There, 45.16% of its residents are opposed to AI dating. 

More people in Memphis (37.50%) would be open to AI dating if their partner didn’t keep it a secret. In comparison, 25.81% of those in Houston said they’d be open to AI dating if their partner is honest about their intentions — the highest number anywhere in the United States. 

As it turns out, most people aren’t willing to let their partner date an AI bot on the side and prefer to keep human relationships, well, human.

Yet the numbers show more couples are starting to support the idea of AI partners, which suggests that, as technology and acceptance improve, we may see more AI relationships develop. Some people are genuinely open to AI dating, but only if their partner is honest about it from the start. Many see the positives an AI partner can bring into a relationship, such as fostering stronger bonds via third-party guidance. 

What’s clear is that the landscape of dating and relationships is changing alongside this fast-growing tech. We’re only at the initial frontier. What’s next for love? All we can say is, watch this space.