Christmas is a time for giving, receiving, eating, and rejoicing. Yes, this is the time of year when people go the extra mile to make each other happy, cooking epic feasts, serenading them with carols, and, of course, choosing that one perfect gift that will make their partner love them even more than they already do.
Or is it? Let’s face it, there are always going to be some gifts that get received with a polite “Oh honey, you shouldn’t have!” and then hidden away in the basement, never to be seen again, like an unusual (read: ugly) vase, or a joke-but-actually-not-that-funny coffee mug. However, there are some men who just can’t — or won’t — get it right, accidentally buying their partner a gift so awful that they risk entering relationship-ending territory. We’re talking self-help books, cheap drugstore perfume sets, or vacuum cleaners…talk about cringe!
We surveyed 3,000 respondents across the country to find out which gifts from their partner they hated the most, and the results were fascinating. Men, read this (ideally well before you start your Christmas shopping) and weep.
1. A Diet Book or Weight Loss Program Membership
Coming top of the list in 20 states, this is particularly thoughtless given that Christmas is one of the times of year that people usually eat the most, splurging on turkey or ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread, cookies, the works!
No one wants to receive a gift that makes them think their partner believes they’ve turned into a tubby butterball, especially after eating one.
2. Cleaning Supplies or a Vacuum Cleaner
This came up a lot in the Southern states, including Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida. Let’s face it, no woman wants to be made to feel as if she’s no more than a mere maid, whose only job it is to clean up around her man. We’re not in the 1950s anymore, Toto!
3. Personal Hygiene Products
Ah, that slight whiff of suggesting you might have… a slight whiff about you. Anything from mouthwash to deodorant basically says, “You stink.” This gift is particularly badly received by women in Colorado, Illinois, Georgia, and Nevada. Next!
4. Last-Minute “Panic Gifts” from Drugstores
Nothing says ‘I literally gave this no thought’ like a generic ‘present’ from the likes of Walgreens or CVS. From a random perfume gift set to a cheap, own-brand lipstick, these should be avoided at all costs, particularly if you live in Hawaii, New Jersey, or Ohio.
5. Unrequested Self-Help books
Woooo boy, this is a screaming no-no, for it suggests that you think something is seriously wrong with your lady love. Yes, many men like to think they can offer a practical solution to any problem, but this, my friends, is not the way to do it. Unless your partner is genuinely seeking help for a specific issue — from giving up smoking to getting over the death of a pet — AVOID this at all costs.
Most Hated Gifts by State
To each their own, and the responses to our reflected that, as the results varied by location. Here are what survey respondents said were the most hated gifts in each state:
| State | Worst Holiday Gift |
|---|---|
| Alabama | Cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner |
| Alaska | Cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner |
| Arizona | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Arkansas | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| California | Self-help books that I didn’t ask for |
| Colorado | Personal hygiene products |
| Connecticut | Self-help books that I didn’t ask for |
| Delaware | Personal hygiene products |
| Florida | Cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner |
| Georgia | Personal hygiene products |
| Hawaii | Last-minute ‘panic gifts’ from a drugstore (e.g. perfume set) |
| Idaho | A cookbook for beginners |
| Illinois | Personal hygiene products |
| Indiana | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Iowa | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Kansas | Personal hygiene products |
| Kentucky | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Louisiana | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Maine | Personal hygiene products |
| Maryland | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Massachusetts | Personal hygiene products |
| Michigan | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Minnesota | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Mississippi | Cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner |
| Missouri | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Montana | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Nebraska | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Nevada | Personal hygiene products |
| New Hampshire | Fitness equipment or gym membership |
| New Jersey | Last-minute ‘panic gifts’ from a drugstore (e.g. perfume set) |
| New Mexico | Cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner |
| New York | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| North Carolina | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| North Dakota | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Ohio | Last-minute ‘panic gifts’ from a drugstore (e.g. perfume set) |
| Oklahoma | Personal hygiene products |
| Oregon | Self-help books that I didn’t ask for |
| Pennsylvania | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Rhode Island | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| South Carolina | Personal hygiene products |
| South Dakota | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Tennessee | A book on improving social skills or manners |
| Texas | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Utah | Self-help books that I didn’t ask for |
| Vermont | Fitness equipment or gym membership |
| Virginia | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Washington | Self-help books that I didn’t ask for |
| West Virginia | Personal hygiene products |
| Wisconsin | Personal hygiene products |
| Wyoming | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
| Overall | A diet book or weight loss program membership |
“Unfortunately, not everyone’s love language is gift-giving, and that can mean some well-intentioned partners give some pretty terrible gifts,” said Amber Brooks, Director of Content for DatingAdvice.com. “I wish this didn’t have to be said, but please, guys, don’t give a girl anything you got at the gas station.”
Men Have Gift-Giving Excuses Ready
The survey made some other interesting findings, most of which serve to reinforce the fact that when it comes to buying Christmas gifts for their partners, many men find a hole and then just keep digging. For example, when they were asked what the hardest part about buying gifts for their other half was, nearly a third of them (28%) said, “She already has everything.” We know this is unlikely.
Nearly a quarter (23%) played the ignorance card by saying, “I have no idea what she likes.” Yet this is the woman you are in a relationship with?!
Tying with 17% were the fabulous excuses “She drops hints I can never pick up on” and “She’s impossible to shop for.” And, perhaps best of all, as all it does is draw attention to what a frugal the man is, “She has expensive taste” (16%) — to which we say, really?!
And men are particularly guilty of leaving their Christmas shopping for the last minute. This is evident by the quality of said gifts — or lack thereof. In the world championships of ‘most last-minute gift ever received,’ at number one, with nearly half of the vote (42%), was a gift card with the amount hastily scribbled in in pen.
Nearly a quarter (22%) wrote out an IOU — for a delayed gift, somewhere down the line, who knows when. The second most unforgivable item was something from the gas station (19%) — like, what, charcoal briquettes for the BBQ? Because nothing classy is ever for sale in a gas station. And, worst of all, giving their partner a random item FROM THEIR OWN CLOSET! (17%) as if they wouldn’t already know it was theirs!
However, to err is human (well, male) and forgiveness divine; 38% of women said they would overlook a terrible gift if they got an amazing surprise follow-up present. Nearly a third (31%) said they would just be happy with a heartfelt apology, while the same amount could be swayed by a romantic dinner or similarly sweet gesture.
This is not to say that women demand expensive or luxury gifts; if their partner was genuinely on a budget, nearly a third (28%) would be delighted to receive something homemade and thoughtful, that showed how much he knew them. Another 25% said they would melt just from receiving a love letter or handwritten note, particularly in this age of impersonal electronic mail.
Another 20% said they would really appreciate a cozy blanket or candle, aimed at creating a relaxing environment, while 15% would love a subscription for a small indulgence, such as coffee or chocolates, which they could enjoy all year.
Another 13% of respondents would be pleased with a simple but meaningful piece of jewelry. Finally, if gift-giving were banned one Christmas, the majority of women (31%) said they would just be really happy spending the entire day together with no distractions, proving that each other’s company is worth more than anything material.
Nearly a third (28%) would be excited to plan a romantic getaway together, while just over a quarter (26%) would enjoy cooking a delicious holiday meal. And 15% would love it if their partner wrote them a love letter or heartfelt card; seeing their devotion in writing would mean so much.
Methodology
We carefully selected 3,000 unmarried couples from a geographically representative online panel of double-opt-in members. This selection was further tailored to meet the precise criteria required for each unique survey. Throughout the survey, we designed questions to carefully screen and authenticate respondents, guaranteeing the survey’s alignment with the ideal participants.
To ensure the integrity of our data collection, we employed an array of data quality methods. Alongside conventional measures such as digital fingerprinting, bot checks, geo-verification, and speeding detection, each response underwent a thorough review by a dedicated team member to ensure quality and contextual accuracy. Our commitment extended to open-ended responses, subjecting them to scrutiny for gibberish answers and plagiarism detection.
