Find Yourself Again After Divorce

The Short Version: Healing from divorce is a journey, and Divorced Girl Smiling is here to support women along each step. We talked to the platform’s founder, Jackie Pilossoph, about how people can find and use the trusted professional resources on her site to reflect, heal, and step into empowerment after divorce.

We’ve all heard the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce. The times I’ve heard someone spout that stat, it’s often been in a fear-mongering or decidedly pessimistic way, as if statistics control behavior and outcomes.

This statement has been statistically true a few times in the last 20 years—like in 2000 and a couple of years in the 2010s– but it is by no means a rule. In fact, trends would show that divorce (and marriage) rates are steadily decreasing. 

Regardless of what the marriage and divorce stats are, divorce is an experience many people have gone through. Despite its commonality, divorce is often an isolating and lonely process during which people have to navigate significant financial, emotional, lifestyle, and social changes, all at once.

While “Half of all marriages end in divorce” can be a frightening statement, it’s also about how you read it. If you’re going through a divorce or stepping back into dating after one, you’re not alone– there are millions of people who understand what it’s like to go through divorce.

Jackie Pilossoph is the founder of Divorced Girl Smiling, a digital platform that supports people through and after divorce in dating and beyond. Jackie talked to us about what kind of support people going through divorce need and tips for entering dating again after divorce.

Divorced Girl Smiling offers articles and podcasts created especially for women going through divorce. The platform can connect women with trusted divorce and dating professionals, such as attorneys, coaches, financial advisors, and mediators, who can offer knowledgeable and tailored support.

“The whole mission of Divorced Girl Smiling is to connect people with really good, trusted divorce professionals,” Jackie said. “We offer them advice from me and my experience, answer their questions, and help them feel supported and validated– and less alone.”

Jackie was divorced in 2008 and said she felt like she needed an avenue to express herself and talk about the challenges of separation. Divorced Girl Smiling began as Jackie’s blog, where she would vent, share reflections, and get real about divorce with her audience.

“I started the company as a blog in 2013 when I was pretty newly divorced,” she said. “I felt like I needed to vent about my own situation and all these problems I was having– I wanted to feel heard and validated.”

When Jackie got divorced, she had two young children, lived away from friends and family, and felt isolated from the people around her. She said she felt depressed and hopeless, and these feelings were only worsened by having no community to lean on.

Soon, she realized that many women sympathized with her experience. As women flocked to Divorced Girl Smiling for advice and support, Jackie said she realized they were looking for support beyond what she could offer.

“A few years into it, I realized I couldn’t give all the professional advice they were asking for, because I’m a journalist, not a therapist,” Jackie said. “I thought the best way I can help my community is to connect them with good resources.”

Jackie began reaching out to divorce attorneys, coaches, mediators, and financial planners who specialized in working with clients going through divorce. Divorced Girl Smiling’s network grew organically and has connected thousands of women with the resources they need.

On Divorced Girl Smiling, women going through a divorce can read an extensive backlog of blogs and articles, explore co-parenting apps and divorce coaches, and find in-person events such as workshops and retreats.

Divorce comes with a lot of life changes. It throws people into a world of attorneys, litigation, and courts they may have never been exposed to before. The legal and financial aspects of divorce can be overwhelming, even without the emotional and social ones.

“I reached out to divorce attorneys, mediators, and financial planners I knew and trusted,” Jackie said. “Every person who wants to be a Divorced Girl Smiling Trusted Professional has to be vetted by me and my Advisory Board.”

Jackie and the Advisory Board vet every professional in the platform’s directory. The board includes several divorce professionals, from mediators to coaches, who are highly respected in their respective fields. They help Jackie find exceptional professionals and bring them into the Divorced Girl Smiling fold.

Divorced Girl Smiling’s directory is organized by state, so users can quickly find professionals in their area. The platform is also partnered with OurFamilyWizard, an app that’s helping users have better co-parenting experiences.

For couples with kids, co-parenting can be one of the most challenging aspects of divorced life to navigate. OurFamilyWizard gives parents access to calendars, documented messaging, an expense tracker, and an info bank, where they can store all the important information.

Tools like OurFamilyWizard simplify aspects of divorce that could be overwhelming otherwise. Divorced Girl Smiling offers resources for divorced parents planning for college, divorce financial preparation, and estate planning attorneys.

The blog is the heart of Divorced Girl Smiling. If a divorced person has been through it, Jackie has likely written about it.

“It’s been 17 years since I’ve been divorced, I’ve experienced so many things, and I continue to write about them,” Jackie said. “I got divorced when my children were three and five, now they’re adults. My ex got married and then divorced and is now serious with someone again. I experience a lot, and I share it all with my community.”

Divorced Girl Smiling is more than a blog or directory. “I have a Facebook group, called the Divorced Girl Smiling Group, and there are 3,300 members,” Jackie said. “I am so proud because it’s the most warm, supportive, non-judgmental platform. We’re all so supportive of each other.”

Jackie said one of the most challenging social aspects of divorce was the isolation she experienced among her friends.

“I was the first single mother in my neighborhood and lived in a suburban community,” Jackie told us. “I was the only divorced one, and I stopped getting invited to parties and gatherings. Then, I started making friends who were divorced, and it was easier.”

Jackie said many people have misconceptions about divorce and divorced people. “I felt like people thought if they hung out with me, they would get divorced, or it might be contagious,” Jackie said.

Misconceptions about divorce can make the dating scene more difficult to navigate for separated singles. Jackie said many divorcees rush into dating too soon after divorce, which often leads to more emotional fallout and heartbreak.

After going through a divorce, each person should measure the right time to reenter dating. Taking a break to focus on yourself is never a bad idea, but Jackie said the timing is different for everyone.

“I think when people get divorced, they’ve probably been lonely for a long time,” Jackie said. “So nobody should judge when they decide to date because they might have been unhappy for years.”

Divorce comes with lonely moments and overwhelming emotions. Women can turn to Divorced Girl Smiling whenever they need it, especially when they feel isolated in their situation.

“People in our community are so nice, and they’re always saying, ‘Don’t worry about it; it happened to me, you’ll be fine,’” Jackie said. “It’s a wonderful place for somebody to go at 2 AM when they can’t sleep. It’s nice to read the comments and feel like you’re not alone.”