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|Hayley Matthews • 9/26/16|
The Short Version: For dating coach Jay Cataldo, self-improvement begins in the mind. After nearly 20 years studying human behavior, he’s mastered different ways to tap into people’s potential and inspire them to reach their goals. The coaching sessions vary according to the individual and could include anything from dating advice to hypnotic therapy. Whether the result is life-changing weight loss or a long-lasting relationship, Jay helps clients tackle all sorts of issues on their journey to self-improvement. His mission is to give his clients the tools to overcome their fears and insecurities so they become the best version of themselves. In the realm of dating, that means helping singles to feel confident, attractive, and worthy of love.
A few years ago, a single Catholic woman felt lost in the hustle and bustle of New York City. She was 33, a lawyer, and so driven that she found success in every area of her life — except in matters of the heart. She didn’t have much experience in that area, and she felt like an outcast from the city’s fast-paced dating life because she was still a virgin.
She turned to a seasoned dating coach named Jay Cataldo for help with her love life. “I feel it in my heart,” he said at the time, “the right guy for you is out there, and he’s so unique — he may not even live in the city, but he’s waiting for you. What I can do is get you doing everything on your end to be ready for him.”
Over the course of three years, Jay worked closely with her to build up her confidence and keep her open to the possibility of love wherever it may find her.
“I’ve seen miraculous things happen. It’s less about the technique and more about developing yourself to be the best you can be.” — Jay Cataldo
In the past, she’d shied away from online dating, but Jay encouraged her to put herself out there and see what happens. She didn’t know it, but this was the beginning of a long-distance love story.
Her dating profile attracted a 37-year-old man with a heart of gold. He didn’t live in New York, but he was smitten with her from the moment they met.
When she described her new love interest to Jay, he told her, “I guarantee you, this guy is going to marry you. I just know it. It’s not going to happen tomorrow, but just take your time and enjoy the relationship.” She was only too happy to follow his advice.
Sure enough, after only a year of dating, the couple got married in a beautiful ceremony. “It’s a special story, incredibly inspiring,” Jay said. “Two needles in the world’s biggest haystack found each other, and they made it happen.”
In his career as a life coach, Jay’s motto is “Bridging the gap between the impossible and the attainable,” and that’s what he helps his clients do every day. He imparts deep life-changing strategies on how people can change their thinking patterns for the better.
To foster personal growth, he uses neuro-linguistic programming, acupressure, mental exercises, and hypnosis.
Jay works one-on-one with his clients and uses a variety of tools to help them master themselves so they’re open to life’s opportunities. His support and advice guides singles along their journey to love.
Whatever is standing in a person’s way, Jay knows that his clients have the ability to overcome it — his job is getting them to realize that, too.
“I’m not a typical dating coach,” he told us. “I help people with every aspect of their lives, and I like being that resource for them.”
Growing up, Jay wasn’t the most outgoing kid in his class; in fact, most of the time he felt downright awkward. He watched popular and outgoing kids with wonder, wishing he could be so naturally gifted.
Instead of being defeated by his social anxiety, Jay hit the books. Around age 18, he began reading all he could find about self-help. “I was all about what’s going to fix me, and I don’t care what it is,” he recalled. “I studied everything from hypnosis to energy medicine — you name it, I probably tried it.”
Jay also studied and questioned his more socially-adept peers to figure out how they could interact so effortlessly in situations that would make a shy guy like Jay freeze up.
Through years of study, Jay developed himself into a much more confident, assertive, and social person.
His insights from that time of self-exploration and growth now guide him when working with people with social anxiety. His mission as a life coach is to help others undergo the same transformation he did — in a much shorter time frame. To that end, he now runs a free course called “30 Days to Social Freedom,” in which he gives people short assignments and word-for-word scripts to get their confidence up in social settings.
“It doesn’t matter what their challenges are, if they get the right training for it, if they have someone in their corner who can help them figure out what’s inside their brain preventing them from getting that goal,” he said, “90% of the time, they’re going to get there.”
In his business, Jay sees dozens of clients every week, and they all come from different backgrounds and lifestyles. He has coached students, top executives, and everyone in between. Anyone looking to get more out of their life can sign up for a free consult with Jay to see if they’re a good fit for his personal coaching services.
Once he takes someone on, he moves fast. In the space of two-hour sessions, he challenges people to unlock their minds and change potentially self-sabotaging habits. “I like being able to help people with a wide variety of issues,” he said. People come to him to deal with relationships, weight, insecurity, phobias, and other personal issues.
“Thanks to Jay, I finally have the happy, secure, and loving relationship I have always wanted. Take his advice seriously. You’ll be glad that you did.” — Melissa Dobroshi, A Happy Client
After almost 20 years of helping singles, date coaching is second nature to Jay. His intuition tells him what advice to give and the proper technique to use. Every situation requires a different approach, he said, because people have their own beliefs and experiences standing in the way of what they want to achieve. Jay has the tools to pull down those barriers so his clients often see substantial progress within a small amount of time.
Through supportive courses, guiding sessions, and therapeutic hypnosis, Jay taps into the power of the mind to develop healthier attitudes and actions.
“A lot of these techniques have overlap, and they work because of certain fundamental principles,” he explained. “The programs of your mind govern your entire life.”
To improve the daily lives of his clients, Jay focuses his energy on the underlying causes behind bad behavior. He knows a multitude of ways to influence individual actions and bring out a person’s best self.
“If you’re consistently working on yourself every day for six months, you can make tremendous changes,” he said. “To me, it’s all about the journey.”
Jay addresses faulty thinking patterns or emotional insecurities so that he can empower his client to feel more attractive in their daily lives. He’s a big-picture guy, aiming for lasting personal growth for his clients.
“I don’t dole out the typical dating advice or help guys become pickup artists,” he said. “I’m more interested in helping people have long-term relationships that are massively fulfilling on a deep level.”
Jay literally wrote the book on how to “Get Your Girl Back” after she’s broken up with you. “The biggest takeaway,” he said, “is don’t do anything. Take your time, stay calm, and let her come to you.”
His book became a sensation, and Jay soon expanded it into a mini-course outlining four steps to win back an ex. Of course, often more permanent personal changes will need to be made in order to keep her. He encourages his clients to follow through in the relationship to make it stick.
“It’s not a quick fix,” he said in our talk. “It’s really about fixing yourself, working on yourself, and becoming a better man to repair the relationship.”
If his clients are open to the idea, Jay will sometimes use hypnosis as a form of therapy. It’s not for everyone, but some find it transformative. “Hypnosis is just one tool to change those programs in your mind and give your thoughts a new direction to go in,” he said. “Realistically, it’s just a shortcut.”
This direct line into a person’s subconscious can improve how people connect to one another by removing mental blocks or inhibitions.
In a free newsletter, Jay teaches people how to hypnotize others and offers information about upcoming workshops on the subject. For couples in a trusting relationship, hypnosis can be a way to relax your partner or even play out a fantasy in guided visualization.
Jay also knows how to trigger hypnotic orgasms — it’s an intense spiritual and physical experience, he said — and can show people how to stimulate their partner through hypnotic suggestion.
After almost two decades as a dating and life coach, Jay has witnessed many life-changing transformations, but his eyes still light up when he gets a wedding invitation from a former client. He still feels wonder at the unexpected ways his clients find what they want out of life.
Whether you’re a Catholic looking for love or a guy dealing with a breakup, Jay offers valuable guidance on how to achieve your life goals. “I’ve seen miraculous things happen,” he told us. “It’s less about the technique and more about developing yourself to be the best you can be.”
Jay coaches his clients with compassion and expertise, using a combination of therapy, hypnosis, and advice to inspire personal change. He champions his clients in every area of their life, including dating.
“I get people to work on their own insecurities and challenges to become a better person overall,” he said. “How I do that really depends on the person, but when you get to the root of the problem and change it — everything changes.”