Some men like to cook. Some women like to do home repairs. Some men think their career should come before their spouse’s career. Some women think either gender can be healthy child caregivers.
But when you’re dating, how do you know about another person’s belief system or gendered biases?
These are questions people entering romantic relationships rarely ask each other, let alone ask themselves. Yet mismatched gender roles can be a source of great conflict in relationships.
Having relationship expectations and finding a partner who can match yours is key to happiness in life and in relationships.
By answering the following questions, you’ll gain a better understanding of the role you plan on taking in your relationship. When auditioning partners, be sure their role complements yours.
For each statement below, rate it using the scale:
(Adapted from the Dual-Family Career Scale)
|
Strongly Disagree |
Disagree |
Neutral |
Agree |
Strongly Agree |
|
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
- I find it important the woman assume primary responsibility for children.
- I prefer my husband to be the main breadwinner in the family.
- I feel as though I am as just as focused on my career as my male colleagues.
- My income is not as vital to the well-being of our family as is my husband’s.
- I view my work more as a career than as a job.
- Although my husband may assist me, the responsibility for homemaking tasks is primarily mine.
- If a wife and mother feels she is not meeting her domestic responsibilities due to her career involvement, she should cut back her career demands.
- I bend over backward so I don’t to make demands on my husband regarding child care or homemaking responsibilities.
- My career is as important to my husband as it is to me.
- Married professional women have the best of two worlds: professional employment combined with a full family life.
Traditional items 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8
Egalitarian items 3, 5, 9, 10
“Keep your eye on men who want
to be a provider and protector.”
How to score the quiz:
- Reverse score items 3, 5, 9 and 10. This means 1=5, 2=4, 3=3, 4=1 and 1=5.
- After reversing the items previously mentioned, find the average for all of the scores. (Hint: add up all the scores and divide by 10.)
What does your score mean?
If you scored above an average of three, you tend to desire a traditional marriage. This means the husband brings home the paycheck and you care for the children and take care of most of the domestic responsibilities.
When looking for a mate, be sure to keep your eye on men who want to be a provider and protector (aka they have a secure job that can support a family).
If you scored below an average of three, you tend to desire an egalitarian marriage, sharing both financial and domestic/child care responsibilities.
This is a more modern relationship style, where both Mom and Dad bring home a paycheck and contribute equally to child care, laundry, dishes and cooking.
