Attract The One By Being The One

Men's Dating

Attract the One by Being the One

Steve Zellers

Written by: Steve Zellers

Steve Zellers

Steve Zellers is the founder of and a dating innovator. His passion is to enlighten, inspire, entertain and empower every person he can come in contact with. Steve believes we are all incredible people with unlimited potential who just have not found the right person to appreciate us, starting with ourSELVES first. He is most interested in bringing authenticity back to dating.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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“If only there were more people out there who were my type!”

Ever caught yourself repeating this line? We all have. It’s a great excuse for why we haven’t met and are not dating the person of our dreams.

They just don’t exist. We’d have to believe that in order to just give up, wouldn’t we?

Actually…no. You don’t really believe that. I don’t either.

I know she’s out there. Part of me believes that until I fix some things about myself, she wouldn’t stay with me, even if I was fortunate enough to attract her. That’s where we will focus.

The more we look, the harder it seems to meet someone we are attracted to. Conventional wisdom has evolved enough for people to understand that concept. The more you look, the less you see when it comes to dating prospects.

The truth is we don’t know when we will meet our significant other and we want it to be easy.

But where should I start?

So glad you asked. If it is to be, it is up to me – 10 two-letter words that allow me to take responsibility and ownership of this all important search!

Here are five things I must do immediately to begin finding The One:

1. I must have clarity. 

“I’ll know it when I see it” doesn’t work. That’s your hormones talking.

Being clear about the qualities you want in a date or mate is more important than the wrapper they come in. That’s like choosing a candy bar for the packaging and being disgusted later when you hate the ingredients inside!

“Rarely will your perfect

mate knock on your door.”

2. I must be authentic.

There is nobody in the world like me, and I used to think that was a bad thing. But you know what? It’s now my competitive advantage.

There will always be someone better looking, richer, taller, smarter, faster and funnier than I am, but there’s only one ME. Nobody has my unique style, experiences, looks, humor, wits, talents and viewpoint. Be you.

3. I must love myself.

That means loving all that I am and that I am not. If I expect someone else to love me unconditionally, I have to be willing to show myself that same consideration. I have to learn to love my idiosyncrasies and embrace my quirks.

4. I must give the other person someone to be attracted to.

And I must give the other person someone to connect to in order to show the qualities we are both looking for in our mate.

How can I clarify and demonstrate my highest qualities? Hint: authentic dater

5. I must show up where someone like that can be found.

Rarely will your perfect mate knock on your door and introduce themselves. Go do the activities you love and that feed your needs and sense of adventure. Meet and network with lots of people who share your interests.

There you have them, five things you can do right away to attract The One by being The One.

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