Break The Lesbian Dating Code With Body Language

Lesbian Dating

Break the Lesbian Dating Code with Body Language

Mary Gorham Malia

Written by: Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Mary G. Malia, founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, is a certified singles coach, strategic intervention coach and author of the book "The Gay Girl’s Guide to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps." She’s known as the leading resource and expert for lesbians who want to move past the barriers to finding love and lasting relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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The first language you learn as a human being is body language. You learn to read your mother’s facial expressions and the facial expressions of every person who shows up to stare at you.

You use this first language all of the time, even though it’s mostly unconscious.

It’s how you know someone is unhappy. Yeah, that look on her face. Exactly, that look on her face.

To really leverage the value of reading body language for dating, you’ve got to learn the flirting cues women use. We are always using our body to communicate how we feel or create leading signals about what we want to do.

Here are a few body cues that say “Come here!”

  • A tilt of the head that exposes her neck to you
  • Her hand going through her hair (short or long) to primp it while she’s talking to you
  • She looks at you repeatedly in the course of an hour from across the room with at least a one, two- or three-second hold. It’s even better if she smiles at you.
  • She keeps passing by you and slowing as she goes by.
  • She keeps coming to wherever you are to talk to women around you and looks you in the eyes while she’s talking to someone else.
  • She’s with a group of women but stands so her belly button faces you.

“If she’s giving a signal that says

‘Come here!’ then go there.”

Here are a few “No go!” cues that she’s not into you:

  • She turns her back to you whenever you approach.
  • When you position yourself to catch her gaze, she won’t hold your gaze. She  immediately looks away.
  • Her belly button is turned toward another woman and stays there.
  • While in a conversation (either standing or sitting), her feet are positioned to move away from you.
  • While standing and talking, she backs up from you versus moves closer.

When you read her body language, if she’s giving an open body language signal that says “Come here!” then get up the guts and go there. Introduce yourself and start a conversation.

If she’s giving you the “No go!” then you can save yourself the guessing and the wondering. She’s not into you. Move on and look for the woman who is giving you the “come here” cues.

Got it? Now do it!

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