Is He Really Into Me

Gay Dating

Is He Really Into Me?

Brian Rzepczynski

Written by: Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW, is “The Gay Love Coach." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs and teleclasses, please visit

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Do you have a hard time trying to figure out if someone is feeling the same attraction vibe you are when you meet guys out on the dating circuit?

One of the most challenging and frustrating aspects of dating is being able to read the signals you’re receiving from the guy you’re going out with to determine if he’s really interested in you.

Does he genuinely have an interest? Or is he just being nice and secretly wants to slither away?

While there’s no special formula, here are a few indicators that might signal the man you’ve just met likes you or he just isn’t that into you.

1. He initiates contact.

He initiates contact with you on a consistent basis and seems to make time in his schedule to include you in his life.

The operative word here is consistent! Long and intermittent gaps of time without hearing from him are indicative of his lack of physical and/or emotional availability or interest.

If this is the case, avoid investing yourself in this guy any further, lest you’ll be setting yourself up to get hurt.

2. Body language.

He laughs, maintains good steady eye contact with you, tries to be in close physical proximity to you and periodically makes physical contact with you

For example, this would include such things as a brief touch on the arm, cradling the small of your back, etc. He’s establishing a connection with you with such behaviors.

3. He wants to get to know you.

He asks probing questions to get to know you better and demonstrates a curiosity and interest in what you have to say.

He’s moving beyond surface conversation now as he’s intrigued enough by you to try and ask deeper questions to see if you might be a qualified candidate for his personal requirements for a potential partner and relationship.


“Consistency of behavior is what

you want to look out for.”

4. Small gestures of kindness.

He starts giving you small gifts, performs spontaneous acts of service for you to please you, etc.

5. Undeniable body language.

His body language is receptive, positioning himself in a way in which he has an open posture and he leans in toward you with lots of smiles.

Body language is often times more telling of someone’s impression of you than his verbal communication.

6. He completely focuses on you.

You are the apple of his eye. The eye contact of shy guys who are otherwise very interested in you might fluctuate, so be sure to screen this carefully.

There’s a big difference between nervousness and indifference. It’s all about the intention.

Action Challenges:

Your job now is to keep your attraction and infatuation in check as you continue to get to know each other.

The tricky thing about these signs is they can also be indicative of someone who is solely cruising to get you into bed.

So if your vision is to seek a long-term dating relationship, one way around this is to hold off on sex for a while to gauge whether the guy keeps coming back because he wants to see you for you and there are no ulterior motives.

Consistency of behavior is what you want to look out for.

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