Escape From The Dreaded Friend Zone

Men's Dating

Escape from the Dreaded Friend Zone

David Wygant

Written by: David Wygant

David Wygant

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Discuss This! Discuss This!

Do you find yourself in the friend zone often? How many times have you met a woman, became interested in her and asked her out, only to find yourself hearing her tell you these words:

“You know you’re cool, but I just can’t see us as more than friends.”

It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it?

You take her out to dinner, spend some money and go in for the kiss, but she pushes you away. She doesn’t want anything more than friendship with you.

Is that so bad? It can feel terrible if you’re trapped there. The friend zone is a frustrating place for men who are so close yet so far from what they really want.

The dreaded “friend zone.”

Do you want to know the reason why you continually get put in the friend zone time and time again?

It’s because you’re afraid of her. That’s right: You’re afraid of her.

You’re not showing up for her. You’re not approaching from a position of strength. You’re not sexually showing her any interest — you’re afraid of her.

You’re probably Mr. Agreeable when you’re with her. You probably show absolutely no conflict at all. You’re probably afraid to even touch her.

And when you asked her out, you probably asked her out to some type of lame event like, “Maybe we should all get together, you and me and all my friends.”

So why would she think that’s a date? Why would she see you as anything more than a friend?

Here’s the deal:

When you ask a woman out, you need to have a plan. The plan is to take her out on a date.

You need to call her up at a specific time or send her a nice text message to ask her out. On a date. Call it a date when you ask.

You need to be definitive when you meet her. You need to have great eye contact.

You need to take her hand or touch the small of her back (not too low!) when you lead her into a restaurant.

And when it comes down to saying good night, you need to not be afraid to go in and give her a goodnight kiss on the lips.

A man will claim the attention of a woman. A boy will be wishy-washy and immediately thrown into the friend zone.

Be a Man…And Get Over Your Ego If It’s a No

Look, the best thing a man can do if he like a woman is let her know he likes her. In words. Not hints. You’ve got to make a move, or she’s going to assume you’re just a friend. And once she’s made that determination, it can be hard to change how she sees you and get out of that friend zone.

Breaking out of the friend zone is all about clear communication and guts. Ask that question, go for that date, and listen when she says yes or no.

Even if you make a move and she still says she just wants to be friends, at least you know and can move on. And that’s what you need to do. Move on to somebody new…perhaps your friend can introduce you to one of her friends!