There’s No Hell on Earth Like “The Friend Zone”

“Abandon hope, all ye who enter here,” is the warning inscribed above the gates of hell in Dante’s Inferno. The prospects of success are nearly as grim for those who dare to enter that other-worldly dimension — where a woman keeps her harem of emasculated gophers, handymen and confidants — known as “The Friend Zone.”

Never ask a woman what she is looking for in a man because she has no clue. Really, she has no experience in picking up women or finding a girlfriend. Oh, she will tell you she wants a pleasant man-child with good manners who treats her like a lady, caters to her every whim and is in touch with his tender and sensitive feminine side. That, my friends, is a load of bullshevick propaganda.

You know that sweet, young lovely you spent last evening with, hooking up her surround sound and cleaning up her hard drive? Well, there she goes on the back of a motorcycle with Spider, the tattooed bad boy with eight facial piercings and a purple mohawk. And you know what else? She’s going to take real good care of his hard drive when they get back to her apartment.

All you got was her hand on your cheek, a smile and a really short hug, just enough to keep you interested and yearning for more. She’s got you on a string now.

No matter what a woman may tell you, she is hard-wired by nature to seek a manly man who will produce strong offspring. She may not believe in her mind nice guys finish last, but in her veins and her soul, she believes nice guys will finish first during sex.

Your kindness and sensitivity will never excite her or arouse her womanly desires. You might get a little pity sex, and she might even wish she could fall for you. But she can’t. Love is based on animal instincts not intellectual wishes. In fact, if she can manipulate you and push you around, she will eventually come to despise you for being less than a man.

Don’t always yield to her will, but rather let her feel your strength and decisiveness. For women, sex is based on some combination of love and lust, and those are derived from respect and passion for the manly role nature has assigned you. So, give her the kind of man every woman needs, and get out of the friend zone and into the end zone of your romantic dreams.