Theres No Hell On Earth Like The Friend Zone

Men's Dating

There’s No Hell on Earth Like “The Friend Zone”

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

“Abandon hope, all ye who enter here,” is the warning inscribed above the gates of hell in Dante’s Inferno. The prospects of success are nearly as grim for those who dare to enter that other-worldly dimension — where a woman keeps her harem of emasculated gophers, handymen and confidants — known as “The Friend Zone.”

Never ask a woman what she is looking for in a man because she has no clue. Really, she has no experience in picking up women or finding a girlfriend. Oh, she will tell you she wants a pleasant man-child with good manners who treats her like a lady, caters to her every whim and is in touch with his tender and sensitive feminine side. That, my friends, is a load of bullshevick propaganda.

She’s got you on a string.

You know that sweet, young lovely you spent last evening with, hooking up her surround sound and cleaning up her hard drive? Well, there she goes on the back of a motorcycle with Spider, the tattooed bad boy with eight facial piercings and a purple mohawk. And you know what else? She’s going to take real good care of his hard drive when they get back to her apartment.

All you got was her hand on your cheek, a smile and a really short hug, just enough to keep you interested and yearning for more. She’s got you on a string now.

She wants a manly man.


No matter what a woman may tell you, she is hard-wired by nature to seek a manly man who will produce strong offspring. She may not believe in her mind nice guys finish last, but in her veins and her soul, she believes nice guys will finish first during sex.

Your kindness and sensitivity will never excite her or arouse her womanly desires. You might get a little pity sex, and she might even wish she could fall for you. But she can’t. Love is based on animal instincts not intellectual wishes. In fact, if she can manipulate you and push you around, she will eventually come to despise you for being less than a man.

Be kind but stand strong.

Don’t always yield to her will, but rather let her feel your strength and decisiveness. For women, sex is based on some combination of love and lust, and those are derived from respect and passion for the manly role nature has assigned you. So, give her the kind of man every woman needs, and get out of the friend zone and into the end zone of your romantic dreams.


Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.