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I’m in Love with a Co-Worker. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.
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Reader Question:

I am in love with a woman I work with. I’m 24 and she just turned 31. She knows I’m crazy about her. I want to tell her I love her, but I can’t because I can tell it is not what she wants to hear.

The main problem is she is a lesbian and has been since she was 24 or so. I respect that, but my head and heart knows what it wants.

What should I do?

-Erik (Minnesota)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Erik,

Now let me get this straight:

You are attracted to the most unavailable woman ever. She’s a taboo co-worker. She’s older. She doesn’t want to hear you are attracted to her. And she’s a lesbian to boot!

Erik, darling, this isn’t about her. It’s about you. What would prompt you to choose unrequited love over a living, breathing, peer-to-peer attachment?

My suspicion is there is some deep loss in your past you are trying to work out here. But the bad news is you will never close this deal and will re-injure yourself.

Honey, do the work of personal growth. Learn how lovable you are and become attracted to someone who can give you the love you deserve.

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Co-Workers

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I’m in Love with a Co-Worker. What Should I Do?
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.