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All of us struggle at times to show someone we like them or to figure out if they like us. When I was a boy, if I liked a girl, I would push her down or tease her. Real mature, I know, but I was still learning.
When I was in high school, I’d pinch a girl’s butt to get her attention. After a few talking-tos, I realized that wasn’t the best way either. Even in college, after I bought a girl roses with a singing telegram for Valentine’s Day, I said, and this is true, “That was like a case of beer!” to demonstrate what I was giving up to show her affection. Again, not great.
I was really trying to show girls I liked them — it just took me a while to figure out how to do it best. Women also struggle with how to show romantic interest, but the signs of a girl liking you are easily read when you know what to look for. These tips will help you determine if she likes you, so you can avoid embarrassing situations like mine.
Whether at work, school, Starbucks, or anywhere else in the world, trying to figure out in person if a girl likes you can be confusing. Is that nice comment a sign, or is it just a nice comment? Here are few ways you can tell:
In the workplace, everyone has different skill sets. Maybe you’re good at code while someone else is great at marketing. It always pays to learn from each other and build skills by asking someone more experienced. So, if the new hire is asking for help, don’t read too much into it.
However, if she keeps coming to you with small concerns, she may be trying to make excuses to spend more time with you. That doesn’t mean she’s playing dumb or is, in fact, dumb. When we’re getting to know someone at work, it can be tough to come up with a reason to interact. The ol’ “Can you help me figure out this Excel equation” may just be a pretense to get closer.
Human touch is an absolutely necessary thing. It’s something we all crave. It releases oxytocin, the bonding chemical, and is a way to connect viscerally. There’s a certain amount of touching that friends and groups do. It could be chest bumps, cheek kisses, pats on the back, shoulder nudges, or other small gestures.
Remember, some people are definitely more touchy-feely than others. But, if a girl likes you, she’ll find excuses to be in contact — more than is necessary. Just like when you look at her and want to touch her, she’s feeling the same way. If you’re showing her something on your phone, her arm will be squished up against you. When you say something funny, she might reach out to touch your arm or shoulder. Maybe she fixes your hair or tucks your tag back in your shirt. If she does that, you’re in business.
You may think men are the only ones who act like idiots when we like someone, but that’s simply not the case. Granted, women are better at hiding it, but their body language will always give them away. If you’re talking to her, look at what she’s doing physically. Is she twirling her hair, brushing her face, or bobbing her foot? Those are signs of nervousness and interest.
Maybe she’s laughing a bit too hard at a joke that isn’t that funny. Or maybe she starts trying to occupy her hands by applying makeup or adjusting her clothing. Just pretend you don’t notice when she acts a bit foolish and keep flirting back.
Texting is the main form of communication these days. In fact, some people get annoyed when someone calls them without first texting to see if they’re available. Texting is easy, it’s fast, and it’s fun. But how do you know if those fun texts from your classmate or coworker are hinting at something more? Here are three things to look out for:
Women tend to be more emotional creatures than men. They’re effusive in their happiness! If your text interactions are peppered with hearts and smiles and winks, chances are she’s trying to drop you some hints. By using emojis, she’s not outright saying anything, so she isn’t risking rejection, but it definitely means something. If in doubt, send some cute emojis back and see how she responds.
Texting is great for checking in with each other and quick little bon mots. If she’s frequently sending you cute pics or texts, what she’s really saying is she wants to connect and bond more.
Obviously, if she’s sending 17 unrequited texts a day, something is off. But if it’s more than strictly necessary without going overboard, she just wants to talk to you more. Start sending her a few more texts than normal and see if she responds to them as well. If so, you might have a burgeoning relationship on your hands!
Sure, you may be funny, but if she’s laughing after almost every comment, she could be flirting with you. Women show affection by sharing emotions. With just words in a black and white text space, it’s hard to convey emotion via text, so she LOLs to show that you’re affecting her emotionally. She’s building you up to make you feel good. She wants you to know you make her happy. Perhaps something else that will make her happy is you asking her out!
The line between real life and online life continues to blur. You probably socialize with most friends both in person and online, but maybe there’s someone you only know online. Perhaps they’re a Facebook friend of a friend. Or they could be someone who follows you on Instagram. When you’re interacting with them, it’s hard to figure out if they’re flirting with you because you have no baseline for their behavior. However, if they show any of these three signs a girl really likes you, I’d bet on yes:
She is your buddy’s old college friend and friend requests you on FB. She starts liking your posts or giving you thumbs up emojis. Before you know it, she’s following you on Instagram or sending you Snapchat vids. Then she reaches out over LinkedIn. If she keeps trying to learn more about you, you’ve piqued her interest.
As long as she’s not spamming you or inserting herself into conversations she doesn’t belong in, you’ve got a fan. Now is a good time to start looking at all of her accounts and learning about her.
For most of us, our likes and dislikes are all out there on social media. Pictures of you hiking, posts about which candidate you support, or even who you follow on Twitter are all part of your being. If she’s interested in you, she’ll want to find things you have in common so she can discuss them and bond. Did she see that you went to Chile and researched interesting foods there to ask you about them? That’s an obvious sign a girl likes you.
Sure, it’s fun to talk online and chat, but if she suggests meeting up off the computer, she wants to see if this online chemistry translates into real-world fireworks. It may be straightforward like, “So, I’ll be in your neighborhood next weekend. Want to meet up?” Or it could be more subtle like, “OMG, I love Paddy’s Pub! Let me know the next time you all go and I’ll catch up with you!”
Bottom line: She wouldn’t offer to spend time with you if she didn’t like you. Accept her invite and tell her you can’t wait to meet in person.
Hopefully, after reading these nine signs that a girl likes you, you’ve realized there is a lovely lady in your life who’s been sending you signals this whole time. As men, we may think women have got it all figured out with their high emotional intelligence and large dating IQ, but we’re all human beings, and we all make mistakes.
As kids, some girls call up a guy with her friends giggling in the background, and other girls yell her crush’s name on the playground and then run away. Hang in there, fellas, it’s all part of the learning process.
We all get kerfuffled when our emotions are involved. Also, if she comes on a little strong, give her a break — maybe she’s dealt with some thick guys in her past. After all, we’re all learning how to show affection in our own way. If you can spot the tell-tale signs a girl likes you, you’re already halfway to a great date. Good luck!