Expectations That Kill A Relationship Before It Starts

Women's Dating

Expectations That Kill a Relationship Before It Starts

Susie & Otto Collins

Written by: Susie & Otto Collins

Susie & Otto Collins

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors as well as soul mates, best friends and lovers. Since 1999, Susie and Otto have been sharing their message with men and women all over the globe about how to attract love and keep the spark alive. They are the authors of "Automatic Attraction Secrets," "Magic Relationship Words," "No More Jealousy" and many other books, audios and programs. Find out how to create and keep a happy and lasting love relationship with Susie and Otto Collins’ free ebook "Passionate Spark~Lasting Love."

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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So you met a great guy and you two are getting to know each other better. Maybe you’ve been spending a lot of time together and you’re really into him. He also seems into you.

Maybe this could be the start of a great love relationship…

Or maybe not!

Sometimes what seems like a perfect match really isn’t because what you each wanted wasn’t a fit. Or you could’ve liked each other well enough but there was zero chemistry.

A truly great relationship can be destroyed before it’s even had a chance to get started for none of these reasons. Instead, it’s the confused or flat-out wrong expectations of one or both of you that stand in the way of true love.

What you believe “has to,” “should” or “absolutely must” be in order for you and your guy to create a fabulously happy and long-lasting relationship might be your biggest problem.

Here are some examples:

1. “If I’m too honest, I’ll scare him away.”

There’s a difference between pledging your undying love to him on the second date and hiding what’s true for you.

If you think you have to be mysterious or conceal parts of your past (or present) in order to keep him calling, think again. Act and speak with integrity.

2. “I need to drop everything else in my life and focus on him.”

If you’ve ever felt like you lost yourself in a relationship, you might hold the belief that you have to give up your passions and devote yourself entirely to this relationship-in-the-making.

When you do, you short-change yourself, and you also become far less interesting than before. Your relationship will be richer because you continue doing what nourishes your soul.

“Ask yourself if you can

accept your guy as he is.”

3. “I should be his one and only priority.”

The same goes for your guy.

Of course, you want to feel important to him and you want him to share his time with you, but you’ll set yourself up for disappointment and resentment if you expect him to only focus on you and leave his interests, friends and career aspirations behind.

4. “My love will change those habits of his that I don’t like.”

Love is a powerful thing, but it’s not that powerful. If the man you’ve decided is “The One” has an addiction or habitually lies and cheats, it’s unlikely your love will fix him or radically change him.

Ask yourself if you can accept your guy as he is (warts and all). If you can’t, then it’s probably best for you both to move on to the next relationship.

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