How Do Men Fall In Love

Women's Dating

How Do Men Fall in Love?

Jordan Harbinger

Written by: Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned social dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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How do men fall in love? What makes a man fall in love? One thing is certain: Men don’t fall in love the same way women do.

So what’s the difference between how men fall in love and how women fall in love? We will break it down for you.

1. Men want to feel needed.

The day a man doesn’t feel needed is the day a relationship loses a lot of its energy.

This is rooted in our primal desire to be protectors, to be the provider, to be the nurturer. It’s part of why we can be so emotionally stoic, but it’s also responsible for most of the qualities women most look for in men.

If you want a man to fall in love with you, you have to make him feel like he’s giving you something no other man can. Fewer things will go further than winning his heart.

2. Men want to feel independent.

Paradoxically, men also want to feel like you don’t need them for anything, they are completely independent and you’ll never come knocking on their door for anything.

What they really want is the space to be themselves without being judged, monitored or pressured to change. Trying to get a man to change is always a bad idea.

In the first case, he’s going to resent you for it. More than that, you’re going to resent him for giving in so easily and becoming the man you think you want.

The man you really want is the independent man who stands on his own. That’s the man who’s going to fall in love with you.

“Make him feel like he’s at home

whenever he’s around you.”

3. Men want to feel special.

It’s such a girly quality few of us would ever admit to it, but at the end of the day, we want to be different from all other men.

We want you to tell us how much you like our guitar playing, writing, painting or whatever. We want to hear about how we’re talented at our jobs. We want you to laugh at our jokes and encourage us to tell our stories.

In a world where men are increasingly expendable and interchangeable, we want to feel the exact opposite of that. We want to know we’re the rock stars we dreamed of being in our teen years.

4. Men want to feel comfortable.

You want to know when we really know we’re in love? It’s not after sex and it’s not after you tell us how great we are.

It’s when we’re sitting around on a couch on a Friday night reading a magazine while you prepare dinner or vice versa. There’s a certain comfort that comes with domesticity, regularity and comfortable silences.

Make us feel like we don’t have to go out of our way to please or impress you and you’re going to really get at our hearts. Make him feel like he’s at home whenever he’s around you. That’s what all of us really want deep down – male or female.

Men and women might fall in love differently, but at the end of the day, we all want the same things: To feel important to the person we’re with and feel comfortable with ourselves.

If you can unlock those feelings inside us, you’re going to be able to get any man to fall in love with you.

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