If Online Dating Is So Popular Why Are You Still Single

Online Dating

If Online Dating is So Popular, Why Are You Still Single?

Julie Spira

Written by: Julie Spira

Julie Spira

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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The hot news in the online dating industry is the independent release of a Pew Research survey, which shows online dating is growing become more popular and effective for meeting new people and even finding that perfect match.

According to Pew, online dating has tripled in the last five years.

This data brings new credibility to an industry that used to have a big social stigma, with 66 percent of online daters surveyed admitting they’ve gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or mobile dating app.

With the rise in popularity of digital dating, why are so many singles still frustrated with the process and going home alone at night?

From your next-door neighbor on eharmony to Lindsey Lohan on Tinder or Martha Stewart on Match, singles are logging on for love in record numbers.

If you have an active dating profile and are struggling with the matchmaking process, you must be wondering why you’re not falling in love or finding a match worth taking home for the holidays.

Further research shows singles are spending time researching their exes online, when they really should be spending time focusing on the future while surfing the web.

Here are five reasons why you’re failing at online dating:

1. Your dating profile is too long.

Nothing turns a potential suitor off more than a lengthy profile that looks like a novel.

I believe the optimal word count is about 100 words in an online dating profile. Anything more than a paragraph should be saved for a conversation when you meet in person or in follow-up emails.

2. You appear too high maintenance.

Listing all of your lavish vacations and the fancy restaurants you like dining at is enough to make a man run and hide his wallet.

Men love women who are fun and easy to be around. If he’s been divorced, chances are he has alimony and child support payments to be worried about.

Instead, list a good cross section of places you’d like to go. Let him imagine taking you to one of them on a future date.

3. You’re a negative Nelly or a Debbie Downer.

When I was critiquing a woman’s profile, I was stunned to see her laundry list of the things she didn’t like about men right on her profile. She listed places she wouldn’t go, physical types she didn’t like and wondered why her inbox was on the empty side.

Why shoot the messenger when he could be the one showing up on your door with flowers? Apparently they didn’t think she was a good catch.

“At the end of the day, online

dating is a numbers game.”

4. You aren’t logging on frequently.

While you might think logging onto your online dating account will make you look desperate, I completely disagree.

Here’s a little secret: When you log on daily, you’re more likely to show up in a search more frequently.

Perhaps he noticed your profile before but was just passing by. Seeing your familiar face again will let him know you’re an available dater.

5. You don’t update your profile.

While your posting new pictures on Instagram and updating your status on Facebook, why haven’t you changed your primary photo on your dating profile in five years?

Your online dating profile shouldn’t look like an outdated newspaper. Take some new photos, change your screen name and give yourself a little digital facelift.

You’ll be surprised at how refreshing your profile will make you feel like you just got a new hairdo or wardrobe.

At the end of the digital day, online dating is a huge numbers game. Isn’t it about time you find a person to ride into the digital sunset with?

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