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Mary Gorham Malia
BTN? What’s that? “Better Than Nothing!”
Is that what your lesbian girlfriend is doing in your life? She’s better than nothing.
She’s better than being alone? She’s better than having no sex? She’s better than coming home to an empty house? She’s better than spending Saturday night alone? She’s better than nothing?
Yes, lots of lesbians do this. It happens all the time. You go into the relationship because it was convenient, saying “Yes was easier than saying no.”
You are in your BTN relationship because you are a coward. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. You were afraid to say no.
“Living with lovers who are ‘better than nothing’
is a recipe for years of BTN relationships.”
Somewhere in between then and now, you learned saying no was a bad thing.
Perhaps it’s years of your parents saying no to you. Or maybe it’s other people who said no to you that set you up to think you shouldn’t say no.
No is a power word. When you use it, you own your power.
Not saying no when you know it’s the right thing to do is like being a victim. Later you are going to regret it and be mad at yourself and the other person.
When we say no to things we truly don’t want, we start living more in our own truth and power. We feel better. And sometimes we discover we feel great.
Why? Because living our lives with partners and lovers who are “better than nothing” is at worst a recipe for months and years of BTN relationships and at best tedious evenings with boring people.
Life is too short. Learn to say no!
Gay girls, have you ever been in a BTN relationship? How did you get yourself out of the situation?
Photo source: 10thousandcouples.com.