Should You Stay Friends With An Exgirlfriend

Lesbian Dating

Should You Stay Friends with an Ex-Girlfriend?

Mary Gorham Malia
Mary Gorham Malia Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

If you’re over fourteen, you’ve probably got an ex-girlfriend. Any lesbian worth her salt has a few exes lying around.

The problem is too often we are so busy trying to be friends with our ex that we’re not moving on in our own lives.

Lesbians are notorious for wanting to stay friends.

You want your new girlfriend and your old girlfriend to get along and be friends. You want your ex to keep you on her speed dial and stay in touch about the latest in her life.

As a dating coach and a lesbian, I’m saying YUCK to all of this.

One of the biggest reasons you have a hard time moving on is you never let go. You break up with your girlfriend and in the next breath say, “I want to be friends.”

The right response to that statement is, “OK, maybe in a year or six months but not today or this week.”

Now this doesn’t apply to someone who you’ve dated just a few times. This applies to the woman who has been your girlfriend, lover or partner for a while.

 

“Give your heart time to heal and give

yourself space to breathe and adjust.”

You don’t have to be friends with your ex.

And if you’re trying to be friends and are discovering it’s like sticking splinters in your eyeballs, then you’ll appreciate this a lot: You don’t have to be friends with your ex.

The only time friendship makes sense is when you both can bring genuinely positive energy into a friendship and it makes both of you feel good.

If you’re not feeling good with your former-lover-now-turned-friend status, then get out.

Own the reason you’re not up for friendship and don’t project something onto your ex. Own that it’s too soon for you to feel just friendly with a woman who has been your lover for a long time.

Own that you’re going to feel jealous if she talks about a new girlfriend. Own that you’re not going to tell her if you’re dating someone new and that feels like lying.

Own whatever the reason that a friendship isn’t going to work, and then stick to your gay girl guns about it.

After a breakup, give your heart time to heal and give yourself space to breathe and adjust.

Friendship might come down the road, but you can’t rush it.

Have you ever tried being friends with an ex? What happened?

Photo source: etsy.com.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.