Landing Mr Right In 2013

Gay Dating

Landing Mr. Right in 2013

Brian Rzepczynski

Written by: Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW, is “The Gay Love Coach." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs and teleclasses, please visit

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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So, it’s a brand new year filled with hope and possibility! You’ve probably already crafted your New Year’s resolutions for going to the health club more often, saving more money, eating more nutritiously, and maybe even making a career transition.

And while we might even go as far as proclaiming this will be the year we’ll be able to say goodbye to that single status in exchange for a new boyfriend, often times we tend to be very vague in terms of how we’ll actually go about achieving these desired goals.

Crafting a dating vision.

2013 could be the year your dreams of becoming partnered with your Mr. Right come true, and this outcome could be greatly enhanced by crafting a dating vision.

While this may sound boring and dry, many businesses claim they found ultimate success with the aid of creating mission and vision statements.

So why not borrow this tried-and-true element from the business world and apply it to your personal life as a single man wanting to improve his dating life?

Vision helps us with establishing goals and keeping us accountable and centered on a path toward accomplishing an end result of our liking.

If more energy was spent honing a vision and creating a “Dating Action Plan,” then maybe dating wouldn’t seem as elusive and mysterious.

This vision will help give us a sense of direction with the concrete action steps we implement that become the path toward success.

This gives us more of a feeling of control over our own destiny, rather than taking a passive approach to dating that rarely yields results.

Step 1.

The first step in creating your own dating vision is to identify what you ultimately want.

Do you really want a boyfriend? If so, why? Are you ready for the responsibilities of a relationship, or are you looking for more casual involvements?

It’s important to get extremely clear on what you would define as the end goal, lest you become vulnerable to getting side-tracked and sabotage yourself along the way.

“Make sure you know what your personal

requirements are for a partner.”

Step 2.

Next, it’s important to conduct a thorough self-assessment on what you bring to the table as a dating prospect.

Are you Mr. Right? Would you date you? Are you a “good catch”?

Before any actual dating occurs, lots of preparation and personal growth work is usually needed in order to enhance the prognosis for relationship success.

After identifying your strengths and weaknesses, begin a program of self-improvement to get yourself in the most optimal level of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness you can.

Step 3.

It’s also crucial to make sure you know what your personal requirements are for a partner and a relationship and to make a commitment to live by these values.

Identify those expectations and values now as these become the guideposts to our behavior and in the decisions we ultimately make.

Where will you meet qualified dating prospects? What specific action steps can you take to achieve the potential of which you are setting here?

How will you know when you’ve reached it? What will it look like, feel like and be like?

How will you know if you’re self-sabotaging in any way, and what strategies will you implement to counteract these immediately if they occur?

These are all vital questions you’ll want to ask yourself in defining your vision.

Write it out.

If it helps to write out an official vision or mission statement like the bigwigs in corporate America do, this might help with keeping you grounded and focused.

Often times, I’ll have my clients create a collage that depicts their vision and post the finished art project in a space of their homes they’ll see every day.

They can build in accountability by asking themselves, “What’s one thing I did today that has moved me one step closer to achieving this particular goal?”

While this simple exercise won’t magically drop a new boyfriend in your lap, it does place the control and responsibility for your getting what you want more squarely on your shoulders.

Rather than “winging it” out in the dating world, which rarely works out, defining your vision can help provide you with some structure and focus that can only serve to increase the odds in your favor.

So here’s to 2013 being YOUR year! Make it happen! Cheers!

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