Lesbian Online Dating Requires Tough Love

Lesbian Dating

Lesbian Online Dating Requires Tough Love

Mary Gorham Malia

Written by: Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Mary G. Malia, founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, is a certified singles coach, strategic intervention coach and author of the book "The Gay Girl’s Guide to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps." She’s known as the leading resource and expert for lesbians who want to move past the barriers to finding love and lasting relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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No, I’m not kidding. I know you are saying to yourself, “Online dating is tough.” Well, that’s why you need to tackle it with tough love.

Tough love is what you have to give yourself. You’ve got to keep yourself motivated and stay in the game.

Too often you get into a pity party about what’s not happening with online dating and you quit.

It’s really hard to make online dating work when you are constantly quitting.

Let’s Do Some Math

In your lifetime, how many times have you fallen in true love? If you’re like most lesbians, you’ll tell me you’ve only really been in love a couple of times in your life.

Yes, I mean that “really in love” state, not the one where you love her but you’re not IN LOVE with her.

If you’re in your 30s, that’s one love for every 15 years of your life. If you’re in your 40s, then it’s one love for every 20 years of your life.

And you’re mad, bored, upset or disappointed because you’ve been online dating for three months and nothing has happened yet. Can you say, “Dah”?

The fact you are looking for love doesn’t mean it’s just showing up on your doorstep. You’ve got to go out there and find it.

Joining a trustworthy online dating site or app like Match is a great first step toward that ultimate romance. But that perfect match may not find you within a day of creating your dating profile.

The fact you’ve joined an online dating site doesn’t mean tomorrow or next week love with magically show up.

Yes, that does happen once in a while, but most single people will have to get committed to the process of online dating for the long run until you find a truly great match.

“The results are worth

the wait and the effort.”

Most Lesbian Couples Meet Online

According to online dating studies, 61% of lesbians in a relationship said they had met their partner online.

Am I making myself clear here?

Tough love means you get yourself in the game and you don’t quit until you win at the game of love. It’s that simple.

You stop whining. You stop quitting. You stop dating lesbians that have nothing in common with you.

You start honoring the process. You start showing up consistently on the dating sites you are using.

You keep your profile updated. You have great pictures of you smiling. You pay to have great pictures taken if you don’t have any.

And you take action. Send out at least 10 messages a week. That will generally get you three replies and a date. That’s what it takes and you’ll have to do it over and over.

But the results are worth the wait and the effort. You really will meet a single person who is amazing and wonderful if you just don’t quit playing the game. Our dating experts encourage you to keep swiping and online dating — you never know what you’ll find.

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