Online Dating The Lesbian Way

Lesbian Dating

Online Dating: The Lesbian Way

Mary Gorham Malia

Written by: Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Mary G. Malia, founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, is a certified singles coach, strategic intervention coach and author of the book "The Gay Girl’s Guide to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps." She’s known as the leading resource and expert for lesbians who want to move past the barriers to finding love and lasting relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Advertiser Disclosure

Does online dating work for lesbians? Of course it does.

The data shows one in five new relationships start online. The data for lesbian relationships is higher.

Don’t ignore this amazing resource, but you should manage your expectations and stay realistic about the process.

Here’s what you can reasonably expect:

1. Online dating provides easy access to lots of single lesbians.

2. You’ll automatically be matched on higher-end sites by age and location than by interests, hobbies, religion and behaviors like smoking or drinking.

3. Pictures are important. You notice that’s what you’re looking at first, right?

4. After photos, a well-written profile gets the most action. Take the time to finish all the parts of the profile. Have a friend read it for typos and give you feedback about whether it really reflects who you are.

“Take a chance once in a while

and date outside the box.”

5. Your age can impact how long it will take for you to find a match. Yes, younger women tend to find a relationship faster. For older women, use the wisdom and patience you’ve gained from your life and stick with it. Don’t give up and you will find love.

6. Dating sites are great for getting to first dates, but you’ve got to be ready to work it to get to a second date and beyond.

7. Just because there are lots of lesbians on a site doesn’t mean you’ll easily find a match. It still takes effort. You have to show up and work the system.

8. The average adult has 10 significant relationships and nine breakups. Don’t get discouraged. Even lesbians are in the norm when we take this number into account.

9. Be flexible about your criteria. You may discover you can fall in love and live happily ever after with a political conservative. Take a chance once in a while and date outside the box. A date isn’t a commitment.

10. Don’t spend more than three hours a week on dating sites. But you also shouldn’t quit so easily. Don’t let discouragement make decisions for you. Do things to stay happy in your life.

As a lesbian dating coach, it’s always my advice that lesbians get online.

I work with women all the time to help them get their dating profiles written and learn how to manage the online dating process. You can do it, too!

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