Preparing For A First Date

Gay Dating

Preparing for a First Date

Jonathan Welford

Written by: Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford is a dating and relationship coach, author of three relationship coaching books and regular columnist. He heads up a coaching and therapy practice specializing in dating and relationships. He lives in the UK with his husband and their English bulldog named Lola.

Edited by: Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks is a dating and relationship expert who has penned over 1,800 lifestyle articles in the last decade, and she still never tires of interviewing dating professionals and featuring actionable advice for singles. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen.

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You’ve got a date. A proper, full-on date. This could be the start of that perfect relationship. You could soon be writing out wedding invitations, looking at buying a house together and picking out a cute fluffy puppy to complete your happy union.

You’ve trashed your bedroom trying to find the right outfit, the bathroom looks like it’s exploded, and you’ve spent the last three days in the gym trying to perfect that six-pack (or at least make it magically appear).

Stop right there and rewind. Haven’t you been here before? Take a deep breath and we will start again.

You know the standard tips: meet in a public place, let friends know where you’re going and when you’re due back, don’t agree to date a convicted murderer in an isolated country house — that can have somewhat of a messy outcome.

A first date brims over with emotion, hope and expectation, and first impressions are a big deal. However, don’t overdo it.

Here are the top five tips for preparing for a first date. It’s up to you whether you take heed, but if you do, then you will feel more comfortable and less frantic.

1. Eat.

Don’t starve yourself to fit into an overly tight outfit just because you look hot. Starving yourself will only cause bigger issues. Unless you’re a high school student, it’s unlikely you’ll be going to a burger bar to share a milkshake.

You will more than likely be drinking alcohol, and if you have nothing in your stomach, this can lead to unfortunate consequences (drunken displays, flinging yourself embarrassingly at your date or sleeping with him when you don’t particularly want to).

“Try to push your insecurities

to the back of your mind.”

2. Wear something comfortable.

If your outfit is too tight, you will feel overly conscious about how you look, and this will reduced the effectiveness of your communication with your date. Checking your reflection to see how you look will just make you look vain.

Have two or three suitable casual outfits prepared in your wardrobe, and avoid frantic buying sprees, as this will only cause long-lasting effects to your credit cards.

3. A clean home is a happy home.

Make sure your home is tidy, clean and in a presentable state (imagine your mother is coming around).

You don’t want to bring your date back home when it looks like Hurricane Sandy has been a house guest for a few weeks.

In my single days, I have walked away from a date who had a house where I felt I had to wipe my feet on my way out! First impressions count, for you, your home and your friends.

4. Number 3 leads to number 4.

Try not to go on a date where you’re likely to bump into your friends. Those hilarious stories of you stumbling home drunk after another dating disaster isn’t what you want your date to hear.

5. Have condoms with you.

Even if you plan to adhere to the third-date rule, it doesn’t make you easy. It makes you sensible.

Ultimately, first dates are the start of everyone’s dating past. You will both be nervous, so try to push your insecurities to the back of your mind and enjoy the experience.

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