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Group sex sounds hot, right? If you are one of the many men who have experienced performance anxiety in the bedroom with one person, perhaps group sex sounds terrifying.
First, I want you to expand your sexual intelligence and expand your perspectives and definition of what sex is and what it means.
If to you sex equals penis in vagina exclusively, and having a hard cock means you are sexy, powerful, in control or desirable, you will probably experience performance anxiety more acutely.
If you see penis in vagina as one part of sex, and attribute symbolic meaning to your hard cock in a more flexible fashion, you will be less traumatized next time your cock isn’t hard like you want it to be.
Your desirability and sexiness has way more to do with who you are than what your cock is or isn’t or is doing or isn’t doing.
Brush up on other sexual acts and become comfortable and confident with other kinds of sexual intimacy.
This includes massaging, kissing and other erotic touching (nibbling, scratching and tracing your fingers slowly along someone’s skin).
It may also include forms of BDSM. It includes groping, frottage, hand jobs and oral sex. It includes experimenting with various sex toys and learning what kind of dirty talk you enjoy. It may also include anal play.
“Just have fun, relax
and enjoy yourself. “
Another part of sexual intelligence is taking away meaning from The Orgasm.
Climaxing may feel good and be a pleasurable part of sex, but it’s not a necessary occurrence in order to have a fun, satisfying and connecting sexual encounter with someone.
A good partner (or plural) will also have an expanded sexual intelligence so you can fully enjoy all sex has to offer and feel comfortable talking about sex.
It’s also important to remember women experience performance anxiety, too. You just may not realize it.
Being able to communicate with a partner or partners will help alleviate the pressure to perform in a certain way.
In a group sex situation, often a non-erect cock has more to do with self-pressure to perform, nervousness or unfamiliarity with the situation or partner(s) than it does with attraction or interest in the situation or people involved.
Simply talking about it with your partners can help redirect your attention and energy away from one of your body parts to engaging with the people in the room. Offer to go down on someone or make out with someone.
Do your best to be present and if you become physically aroused, awesome. If you don’t, awesome.
If you are in the presence of other sexually intelligent people, then they will respect your body and communication and go with the flow, too.
Just have fun, relax and enjoy yourself. How many people get to experience group sex, anyway?
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