Why Some People Choose To Remain Single

Men's Dating

Why Some People Choose to Remain Single

Randy Mitchell

Written by: Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell is a blogger on lifestyle, writing and relationship topics and is a published author of inspirational romance. His first novel "Sons In The Clouds" is available on Amazon. To find out more about Randy, visit www.theinspirationalwriter.com.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Everyone wants and desires love in their lives. It’s natural and part of what makes us all human – edgy feelings when you connect with another, making your heart skip in those crazy, irresistible beats.

However, for some it doesn’t mean running to the jewelers, racing inside a church or shopping for furniture together at Crate & Barrel.

Many are content searching for and finding love as it comes and don’t require the legal paperwork people believe makes it valid and official.

Love is great when it’s pure and true.

For certain people, finding a real soul mate is all about their individual definition of relationship success.

We’re all different and some just aren’t meant to marry, although opinions can fly in all directions when someone states they’re still single, especially in later life.

The judgments often come fast and furious: “You’re just insecure, fearful, commitment-phobic and not a risk-taker” and the old standby “He must be gay.”

Remaining single is an individual choice.

Some are simply happier and content finding joy and love in other things, enjoying their freedom and avoiding the oftentimes high-stakes drama of marriage if it falls apart.

Each and every one of us was given a specific script for our lives. Marriage just isn’t included for some in their life’s plan.

And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Again, it’s a matter of individual choice.

I’ve known many who’ve remained single well past 50, and many more who are divorced and swear they’ll never say “I do” again.

None of them are swayed by what public opinion says is right or wrong, acceptable, stereotypical or wanted among the eyes of their family, friends, religion or ethnic group.

Lots of them are some of the happiest people I know and wouldn’t trade their lives for anything.

“It’s better to remain single

than sacrifice yourself.”

While writing this article, I did some research because I wanted to know what the top reasons were for men to stay single.

For men:

  1. They believe marriage involves too much drama and compromise.
  2. They’re waiting for that “perfect” woman to arrive.
  3. They’ve never felt the emotional need to share their lives with another.
  4. They want to enjoy the single life as long as possible.
  5. They decided to wait until later life to have children or don’t want children at all.
  6. They don’t want to marry a woman with children.
  7. They want to avoid the financial and emotional risks of divorce.
  8. They are more focused on their careers and see marriage as a hindrance to their success.
  9. They can easily get sex without marriage.
  10. They’d rather live with a woman than marry.

For women:

  1. They can support themselves and don’t want to be dependent on a man.
  2. They’ve had too many bad or abusive past relationships.
  3. They’ve never felt the emotional need.
  4. Many connect with animals more than men (kinda weird).
  5. They set unrealistic expectations for marriage and are easily disappointed.
  6. They’re waiting for that “perfect” man to arrive.
  7. Many are more career-focused, especially now that more women are in the workforce.
  8. Fear of commitment
  9. Fearful of the high divorce rate
  10. They’ve witnessed lots of negative comments about marriage from married friends.

I’m sure there are many other reasons.

However, these listed above are the most mentioned from websites like Helium, Yahoo, MSNBC and CNN.

I’ve often been told it’s always best to stay single rather than be with someone who disrespects, lies to or cheats on you.

I’ve also been told you should always wait for the “right” one who fits your needs, wants and desires, never compromise just for the sake of becoming married because of any pressures placed on you and always love yourself first, so when true love with another comes along, you’ll be ready to focus on your lives together.

If remaining single is what you choose, it’s definitely your right to do so. Sometimes it’s better to remain single than sacrifice yourself for another’s happiness, succumb to societal demands or live a life not meant for you.

But above all else, it’s your choice to make.

Have you chosen to remain single? We would love to hear your reasons why.

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