Your First Kiss Post Breakup Are You Sure Youre Ready

Lesbian Dating

Your First Kiss Post-Breakup. Are You Sure You’re Ready?

Mary Gorham Malia

Written by: Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Mary G. Malia, founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, is a certified singles coach, strategic intervention coach and author of the book "The Gay Girl’s Guide to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps." She’s known as the leading resource and expert for lesbians who want to move past the barriers to finding love and lasting relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Did your lesbian relationship come to a crashing end during the holidays? It happened for lots of lesbians.

Now you’re suddenly single, feeling fragile and unsure, and your friends are telling you to just jump back into the dating game.

They may even be telling you to jump into bed with that old story about the easiest way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.

Does that really work? No, it doesn’t. It especially doesn’t work in our little lesbian trailer park.

If your ex was someone you were really crazy about and truly loved, it takes time to move on from those feelings.

When should you start dating again?

Getting back into dating can be one way to help you move forward and feel better about yourself when you’re ready.

It also means you’d better get ready to pucker up, hold hands and get close.

Are you ready for that? Ask yourself, “What do I really want?”

The thought of kissing someone else could push all of your fear and fragility buttons right now.

It could feel like it’s too soon. It could just make feelings about your ex-girlfriend well up like a geyser and take over.

It’s important to feel ready to take that step and not rush yourself.

“When you are ready to move

forward, ratchet down the expectations.”

Don’t let anyone rush you.

Don’t let friends rush you. Don’t let a date rush you either. And throwing yourself at another gay girl just to quell the pain in your heart isn’t going to work for either of you in the long run.

It’s a short- term fix that will break something else before it ends.

Ms. Right Now has her place in the process of getting over your ex but only if you both agree that it’s just casual and probably a short-term thing.

If Ms. Right Now wants more than that, are you ready to make a commitment like that so soon?  Hell no!

If you’re still fresh with pain about the breakup, then go slow about dating and getting involved again.

Take care of you. Spend time making yourself feel better about you. Own yourself, your space and your life again.

A kiss is just a kiss.

When you are ready to move forward, ratchet down the expectations. Let a kiss be just a simple kiss, a demonstration of kindness, care and likability being given to you or shared between you and another woman.

Enjoy it for it’s simple beauty. And if this kiss is from a lovely lesbian who has the potential to be someone special, take it slow. A lot slower than last time.

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