How Do I Choose Between Two People?

Nick Slade
Nick Slade Updated:
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When it rains, it pours. For weeks or months we can’t seem to find a woman who we are attracted to, and when we finally find one we like, there’s another one or two who are available to us, too.

We now have some great options, but it seems like we need to figure out which one we will like better a month from now. But it doesn’t have to be that pressing.

The best way to find out which woman is a better match for you is to spend some time with both of them. Just be honest with each woman and tell her you’re not quite ready to settle into an exclusive relationship yet. You want to get to know her first so you can see if there is a spark or something more.

Dating should never be a contest or a reality show where one contender gets voted off every week. Have some daytime dates to the park, museum or ball game. Before long, the balance will start to tip in one direction and, chances are, that will be the right direction for all parties involved.

You should try to keep sex out of the equation for now. Once she’s been in your bed, there is a kind of commitment beginning if things continue on that road, and it muddies the water and makes rational thought more difficult.

Of course, all girls will not go for an arrangement in which you date two girls. She may tell you that if you want to date her, you can’t date anybody else. My rule of thumb is that if I have to say yes or no right now, it’s best to say no. If you can see only her or not see her at all, then don’t see her at all unless or until you’re sure of what you want.