How Do I Know if My Girlfriend is Just Flirting for Fun?

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

How do I know if my girlfriend is just “fun flirting” or if she doesn’t love me anymore?

-Colin B. (Virginia)

Expert’s Answer:

Hey Colin,

What an interesting question. If we were having a two-way conversation, I would ask you for a lot more information. But since this is me virtually writing you a letter, I will have to use my imagination and cognoscente creativity. I’m assuming you and this girl are exclusive. (If you aren’t exclusive, then you really don’t get to be concerned about the level of flirting she is doing.) OK, so if we’ve established that the two of you are exclusive and your girlfriend is hugging, holding hands with, whispering to and giggling at everything your 10 best guy friends say, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

The definition of flirting is to “behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.” Even if your girlfriend doesn’t plan on actually making out with or sleeping with one of the guys she flirts with, it is still hurtful to you – whatever the level of flirting it is. Chances are, she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. So sit her down and tell her about how it makes you feel. If she listens and stops flirting with other guys, then she cares for you. If she continues her fun flirty ways, then it’s quite possible she’s not ready to settle down.

Thanks for reaching out,


Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.