How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back

Men's Dating

How to Get an Ex-Girlfriend Back

Sam Stieler

Written by: Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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What is it about our exes that make them so appealing? It’s like magic. As soon as you break up with your woman, almost to the day, she suddenly regains all of those alluring qualities that drew you to desire her in the first place. Even a woman whom you felt thoroughly tired and bored with just a couple weeks ago will once again radiate attraction each time you see her after your breakup.

Whether you broke up a week ago or a year ago, it’s inevitable you will want to get your ex back. So let’s take a minute to learn how, exactly, you can take back the one who got away.

Why did you break up?

To get your ex back, you need to develop a firm idea of why the two of you broke up in the first place. If you were the one who ended your relationship, you need to ask yourself what it is about her character that led you to leave her in the first place. If your woman ended your relationship, then you need to figure out why, exactly, she left you.

The purpose of these investigations is different. If you ended things with your woman, you need to determine whether the conditions causing you to leave have changed at all. For example, if you left because your woman didn’t have her own social life, you need to take an honest look at her current situation and see if she’s corrected course.

If she has, then she may be worth taking back. If she has not, then you will need to either let go and move on, or you will need to ask yourself how much longer you’re willing to wait.

If your woman left you, then you need to take the opposite track. You need to ask yourself, with the same scathing honesty, whether you have changed in the ways she needed you to correct course. If your woman left you because you work too much, you need to determine whether you’ve really cut down your hours and refocused your priorities clearly enough to win her back. If you haven’t, then you need to keep your head down and plug on ahead until you become the sort of man your woman needs you to be.

Getting your ex back without personal growth.

There are a couple surefire ways to get your ex back without either you or her growing as a person.

  • If you left your woman, then you probably won’t have a very hard time getting her back.

All you need to do is let her know you were wrong, you want to help her grow and become the person you need her to be, and everything you worried about before just doesn’t matter as much as you thought it did.

  • If she left you, then all you need to do is tell her you’re going to change.

Many men have gotten back together with their exes through a combination of perseverance, grovelingand outright lying. And most of those men were able to remain in their relationship afterwards, without changing or even trying to address the problems their woman previously identified.

In case it isn’t obvious, even though both the above options reliably work, neither of them represent a positive, healthy or even remotely desirable way to get your ex back. The only way to create the sort of relationship you truly want with your ex is through serious personal growth — either hers or yours.

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