Men's Dating

How to Know Your First Date Went Well

Jordan Harbinger

Written by: Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned social dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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“Did my first date go well?” It’s one of the most common questions I get while working with The Art of Charm. It’s an important question.

A first date sets the tone for an entire relationship. If it doesn’t go right, it’s going to be harder to get subsequent dates to go the way you want them to.

If it’s a smash hit, the rest of your dates are going to be a lot easier and will go a lot smoother.

Still, it’s hard to know if your first date went well, so I came up with this handy guide.

1. Body language.

At The Art of Charm, we’re huge believers in the idea body language is going to tell you way more than verbal language ever will.

Ask yourself questions while you’re on the date about her body language. For example, did she sit close to you? Did you two touch at all? Was her body angled toward you or away from you?

This will tell you a lot more about whether or not she had a good time than anything she’ll say to you.

2. Laughter tells you everything.

When it comes to a first date, the best indicator of whether or not she had a good time is whether or not she was laughing.

A woman who doesn’t laugh a lot on a date might have had a good time, but a woman who does laugh a lot definitely had a good time.


“If she talks about specific parts of the

date, you’ve really got something.”

3. How’s the conversation?

Another great way to tell if she had a good time on her date is how the conversation flowed.

When two people who don’t know each other very well get together, the conversation can be strained. However, as the two of you spend more time together, the conversation should start going a little easier.

If it doesn’t, things probably didn’t go very well. Whether or not you two can carry on a conversation is one of the main things that will tell you whether or not she wants another date.

4. Communication after the date.

There are two parts to after-date communication: Her contacting you and her responding to your attempts to contact her.

Let’s start with the former.

If she contacts you and doesn’t say much other than, “I had a great time,” that means she didn’t actually have a great time.

If she messages you with, “I had a great time. Let’s do that again,” that’s a slightly better sign.

If she texts you and says, “I had a great time last night. Let’s do something next week,” you’re getting warmer.

If she sends you a longer message that talks about specific parts of the date, now you’ve really got something.

Now let’s talk about your attempts to contact her.

The rule of thumb is if you make three attempts at communication with no response, she’s ducking your calls. This also applies to responses that are only her telling you how busy she is – no one is that busy.

5. Your job: follow up.

As a man, it’s your responsibility to follow up after a date. The male role is one of pursuit and initiation. It’s her job to put the brakes on things.

The day after a date, send her a quick email telling her you had a great time and you want to do it again. Use the email as an opportunity to suggest possible second dates.

If she’s hesitant, you know things didn’t go great. If she’s interested, you know they did.

What’s the ultimate test of whether or not a first date went well? You get a second one.

How do you know when the first date went well?

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