I Think She’s Cheating on Me. Can You Help?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’ve been dating a woman for about two years (we’re both in our 40s) and everything else is great, except I think she’s cheating on me. I live and work about four hours away and can only get together with her about half of the days each month.

When her clothes came out of the dryer, they included a pair of sexy, lacy panties, which she’s never worn when I’m around. She’s disabled the personal locator setting on her phone and has a password lock. Once when I was away and I called her, I had to leave several messages, but she didn’t return my calls between 6 and 11 p.m. She said she went out with “Linda” for a few drinks from 6-11.

My biggest concern stems from the fact that once she openly admitted to “bending the truth” at work and “telling white lies” to friends. She of course denies everything, swears she’s faithful and loves me so very much and wants to get married.

Can you help?

-Billy (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear smart Billy,

What does your stomach tell you today? I ask you that because psychologists call our stomach our second brain.

Your head is being filled with red herrings, but your stomach seems to have crystal clear vision. Or does it?

If you have a history of jealousy or this impending wedding is bringing up old fears of being abandoned, then you must shut your tummy up. It’s feeding you false information that is related to something else.

On the other hand, why would you want to marry someone who is not entirely open with her life?

Does her Facebook page announce she’s in a relationship with you? How can you love and trust someone who warns you she’s a liar.

I mean, we all tell white lies, but we don’t brag about it.

Here’s my suggestion: Take the wedding off the table for now. See if your stomach calms down. If it doesn’t and you find more thongs in the dryer than your bed, you have your answer.

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