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Dr. Wendy Walsh
I am a 25-year-old male dating a 29-year-old woman. I’ve never had a relationship in my life and am very new to intimacy. I really like this woman, but I fear that when it comes time for intimacy, especially sexual relations, she will be disappointed and this will end things.
Do you have any advice on how I approach the situation?
To quote a famous president, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.
In other words, it is your anxiety, not her judgements, that is the root of your problem. And if you move too fast, these anxieties can disrupt the physical part of you.
So, you’ve got to move slowly. Build trust. Build communication. Don’t jump into bed, but spend a few good nights with kissing and fondling. Let your body relax and take over.
And tell her she means something to you and that’s why you’d like to move slowly. She’ll respect that.
If you take the time to build a friendship and some good sexual communication skills, you’ll reduce the fear that she’ll judge you.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.