Our Date Didn’t Have Sparks Like When We Met. How Do I Get it Back?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
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Reader Question:

I met a girl two months ago. She was great, lots of chemistry. We had our first date but it didn’t have anywhere near the spark like when we first met. When I saw her again, I completely fell for her and it completely ruined my confidence.

How do I get that spark back without coming on too strong?

-J.B. (Alaska)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Let me get this straight. When you met by chance and there was no pressure, there was exciting chemistry. But when you called it a first date, the high expectations made you lose your confidence.

It seems like your mojo will come back when you lighten up the situation. Forget the nervous formal dates for now. Bring her to a social event with a group of people, make the date some kind of outdoor adventure, go work out together, or do some community service together.

When you have the distraction of other people or a shared activity, you’ll be relaxed enough for sparks to fly again.

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