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The Short Version: Most relationship coaches focus on helping their clients attract others into their lives, but, according to Behavior and Relationship Expert Patrick Wanis, Ph.D., the focus should always start with yourself. By helping people to rid themselves of negative beliefs, painful emotions, and increase their self-confidence, Patrick opens the door for them to find, build, and maintain healthy relationships. Patrick offers one-on-one coaching and therapy sessions to assess a person’s behavior and tailor an approach to his or her unique situation. He has also published numerous e-books and audiobooks to help people improve specific relationship woes, and his blog features more than 1,100 articles to help them better understand and transform their own behavior. Even further, Patrick trains other counselors and coaches and is working on a book to teach them his own unique and highly effective therapy technique — SRTT.
Many children have negative experiences they misinterpret as being their fault — such as parents treating each other badly or splitting up. They internalize those childhood experiences and often develop negative self-worth, or a deficit of self-love, which can make it harder to find love and maintain healthy relationships with others later in life.
Patrick Wanis, Ph.D., began to study human behavior at a young age in hopes of better understanding his own childhood and family misunderstandings. Over time, studying people and relationships became his profession. Through one-on-one coaching, therapy sessions, and a variety of online resources, he helps people to overcome early adversity and make positive changes in their lives by transforming subconscious beliefs and releasing old painful emotions.
Many relationship coaches focus on how to attract a potential mate, but Patrick believes clients have to start by working on the relationship they have with themselves.
“The way you relate to yourself is going to determine the type of relationship you’re going to have,” he said. “When I help people with relationships, I first help them understand themselves and their motivations, which develops emotional intelligence. Next, we clear out trauma and change many of their negative subconscious belief so they can relate better with their partner or whoever they want to share a relationship.”
Once people have healed past traumas and limiting self-beliefs, they can begin to understand the needs of their partners — and express and receive love in healthy ways.
“If we don’t believe that we’re good enough, and we carry around guilt or shame, then we put up a wall around ourselves, and we choose not to express love and don’t allow anyone else to get close to us,” Patrick said. “We subconsciously fear that our love will be rejected, and, thus ultimately, our very core being will be rejected.”
Patrick works with patients of all ages and backgrounds and focuses on relationships or addresses personal issues — such as anxiety or anger — and many of his clients have seen life-changing results after just a few sessions immersed in his unique therapy technique: Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique (SRTT).
For individuals who need to improve their relationships with themselves — or others — Patrick offers one-on-one coaching and therapy sessions.
If you want advice on a specific topic, such as relationships or dating — Patrick offers personal coaching sessions. He gives the example of a client who had no clue how to talk to women because of his upbringing. Patrick coached him on how to better relate to other people, treat women with respect, and understand their needs.
If you’re looking for a more intense transformation or need help with anxiety, depression, or past trauma, Patrick offers therapy with his unique Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique (SRTT). He works with patients both in person sessions and in phone sessions.
Patrick explains most of his one-on-one work centers around a process that inspires change, because, most of the time, clients feel stuck.
“What I do is remove the obstacles. For example, when someone says, ‘I know I need to lose weight, I know I need to exercise,’ I’ll search out the motivation and find what’s stopping them from exercising or eating healthy,” he said. “It might be motivated by self-sabotage because there’s a part of them that doesn’t believe they deserve to be happy, healthy, and look good.”
Patrick coined the term “The Law of Deservedness,” which states that “You only get what you subconsciously believe you deserve, and no more. If you get more than what you subconsciously feel you deserve, you’ll sabotage it, push it away, or simply won’t enjoy or appreciate it.” That is why people often find themselves stuck in patterns of bad relationships. By helping clients subconsciously believe they deserve better, he provides a pathway to making better choices, with better results.
However, Patrick doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all approach; He has his clients complete a DISC assessment; a popular behavioral assessment tool. It classifies people by Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness.
“As soon as I understand your temperament and behavioral style, then I know how to respond and work with you. My approach varies based on what you need.” he said.
For example, “D” types are highly focused on the no-nonsense bottom line, whereas “S” types are resistant to change and need more patience and reassurance because security is extremely important to them. “I” styles need variety, fun, and the opportunity for exploration, whereas “C” styles are logical and analytical, and prefer to work alone. Patrick takes clients through each step and explains what the behavioral tendencies mean while ensuring his message resonates with their temperament.
He has written titles on how to find love quickly, how to find your soul mate, what women want, connecting with women, seduction, and how to get over your ex, among many others.
The “Get Over Your Ex Now!” audiobook has already helped hundreds of people, Patrick reveals. The eight-hour book helps people navigate breakups and learn how to move forward and find a healthy relationship that is the right fit — since love alone is not always enough to make a relationship successful, fulfilling, and long-lasting. He adds that the program helps people understand how to understand themselves, their needs, and how to find a compatible mate while grieving and letting go of an ex.
Patrick’s website has his many downloadable audio hypnosis programs as well, from getting over your ex and enjoying sex guilt-free, to gaining self-confidence, quitting smoking and losing weight.
Patrick developed a unique form of therapy over many years called the Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique (SRTT), and he offers a training program for it on his website.
“I developed my own therapy process, which gets to the root cause of your issue and helps you to change your subconscious beliefs and release any emotional pain you’re carrying,” he said. “It’s a great program for therapists, coaches, and psychologists; it adds to their tools.”
Patrick offers a wealth of free information on his blog, and he has more than 1,100 articles to help people better understand behavior and relationships.
Each week, he sends out a free email newsletter called the “Success Newsletter,” in which he shares strategies and insights about success in all areas of life. His site also has free quizzes and other resources.
“(My articles and programs) help you learn more about yourself and others. They can ultimately lead to a place of forgiveness and compassion for both yourself and others, and to also allow you to arrive at the subconscious belief that you’re worthy and good enough, and there’s actually nothing wrong with you,” — Patrick Wanis, Ph.D.
Many of these articles can help readers transform their dating lives by helping them understand themselves and potential mates.
“They help you learn more about yourself and others. They can ultimately lead to a place of forgiveness and compassion for both yourself and others, and to also allow you to arrive at the subconscious belief that you’re worthy and good enough, and there’s actually nothing wrong with you,” he said.
Patrick is currently working with a literary agent on a book about his unique therapy process SRTT to help other counselors, therapists, psychologists and coaches set people free from their limiting beliefs.
“Ultimately it’s always the same goal: How can I reach more people, so they can set themselves free from the chains and limitations that they’ve placed on themselves based on their subconscious beliefs or interpretations of things done to them — or not done to them?” Patrick explains.
According to Patrick, we blame ourselves for childhood wounds, and it causes us to think there is something wrong with us and hold ourselves back from happiness.
“I want people to understand that you can release the self-blame, and you can change the belief that there is something wrong with you, and when you do that with my process of SRTT, your life and results will change dramatically!”