She Won’t Have Sex With Me Again. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
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Reader Question:

I’m a 54-year-old man, and I have been dating a 61-year-old woman for five months. After two months, we had sex. She told me we had to back up a few steps. She will not have sex with me now.

What should I do?

-Joe (Ohio)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Joe, you need to keep the conversation going. She can’t ask for a do-over unless she explains the motivation of the player.

Was there a rule violation of the dating rule book? Does she have a physical or emotional issue that, when shared with you, will help bring the two of you closer?

You deserve answers. Ask gently. Listen carefully. Make your next move.


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