Did You Two Lose Your Spark?

At last, you found The One. Each time she enters a room, your heart skips inside your chest, your palms sweat, your pupils dilate, your nerves are on edge and your mind floods with ideas of making her happy, content and wanting more.

The hours or days anticipating seeing her cannot pass quickly enough. You feel knots in your stomach. The love bug has definitely swung your way and you cannot imagine a future without her.

Life for you, even on the grayish and rainiest of days, is filled with nothing but sunshine and clear blue skies.

But what made it change, and what can be done to get those feelings back?

Deep physical and emotional chemistry with another are two different things. Contrary to certain beliefs, one cannot happen without the other.

I truly believe it isn’t possible to sustain physical intimacy over time unless other factors are at play – feelings of love, friendship, respect, and trust.

But, once you have them, their longevity depends upon how much effort you’re willing to put forth.

Let’s say you’ve met someone for the very first time and there’s definitely something special going on. Maybe it’s her eyes, posture, unique pitch of voice, humor, caring soul or certain body parts appealing to your individual taste buds.

You find yourself becoming more attracted as time goes by. Maybe you’re even considering moving in, getting married or having children together.

Time goes by, however long, and things are fine until you find yourself becoming more withdrawn and less interested in continuing.

This is when you should have a personal heart-to-heart conversation and try, really try, getting to your source of discontent.

After giving it some thought, here are a few key items that can help:

We’ve all heard “Communication is the key.” Well, you can’t argue with success.

Making valiant efforts in this area may have slid, but now you’ve got to get them back.

If talking has sunk to the point of using emails, texts or short conversations over the phone, you need to throw aside the electronic gizmos and step into an offline atmosphere. Take her by the hand and make her the focal point.

There is a lot more I could say about effective communication, but an open, in-person exchange of feelings, wants, needs and desires will go a long way in restoring your connection.

I’m guilty, as many are, of letting disagreements and harsh words ruin intimacy.

What I’ve tried learning is if you do argue, let the reason for the exchange play itself out. In other words, don’t walk away with hurt feelings and don’t go to sleep mad.

Scenarios like this can only build and fester to the point of no return. Try and understand each other’s points, and if you cannot agree, agree to disagree and move forward.

Nobody is right all of the time. Don’t let each other’s opinions ruin what you have.

Also, never forget to say you’re sorry when you’re wrong. Those two little words carry lots of weight.

“If you have lost some of

those feelings, it’s solvable.”

Humor brings people together more than anything else. It lightens things up and helps to keep you close.

If you’ve lost that, try and bring back those corny jokes making her sides split while keeping a smile on her face. Humor is one of the top reasons women are attracted to men.

When I say time together, I’m referring to real time.

If you’re married or living together, have a date night at least once a week. Hit the off button on the computer and phone and focus on each other.

Take a break from the outside world and try and rekindle what brought you together in the first place. Check into a hotel for a night, go on a weekend getaway, lie in bed or give her a massage.

If you’ve stopped doing these things, it’s no wonder you’ve drifted apart.

This is self-explanatory. It’s really easy to allow outside factors and people destroy our relationships, whether it’s an overbearing mother-in-law, work demands, a constantly ringing telephone (can you tell I’m not a cell phone fan) or even an ex who can’t seem to let go.

These are just a few, but in order for a relationship to last, for your significant other to feel needed, wanted and desired, they should know they’re the most important person to you. Otherwise, you’re letting external interference dictate your future.

If you’re committed to someone special but have lost some of those feelings that first brought you together, it’s solvable more times than not. It’s all dependent on the efforts you’re willing to give.