7 Good Love Questions to Ask a Girl

You’ve met a gal, and that’s great! She’s awesome and fun and gives you butterflies. But you aren’t really much of a talker… and you’ve never been accused of being romantic. After a beautiful day out, walking through the countryside and farmland, she turns to you and asks, “What are you thinking? Right now?”  

You look at her and reply honestly, “Pigs are much bigger than you’d expect.”

Aaaaaaaaand we’ve ruined it. Truth is, sometimes (a lot of times!), we don’t really know what to talk about or what questions to ask on a date. We want to get to know someone and learn about them, but it’s not as easy as talking to one of your guy friends, where you smack them on the shoulder asking, “Dude, what’s the grossest thing you’ve ever eaten?”

So let’s get back to the woman in the countryside. If things are going well and you want everything to continue to go well, you need some great love questions to ask that girl and get the conversation going in the romantic direction (i.e. without mentioning pigs).

You want to find out what her love language is.  A love language is one of many ways of giving and receiving love. Basically, you prefer words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, spending quality time, or physical touch as your primary way to be shown love.  

So here are five questions based on the languages that will help you understand her passions and needs:

• What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
• What’s the kindest thing someone has done for you?
• In all the holidays, what was the best gift you ever got?
• What was one of your best days?
• What makes you feel super safe and cozy?

While it’s not scientific, talking about love languages will definitely get you closer to what drives her and makes her feel loved.  

Not everyone had a great family life growing up, and there are ways to ask about it without being direct. You want to bring up happy memories that are going to make her feel warm and fuzzy. 

• What was your favorite holiday as a kid?
• What is your favorite holiday memory?
• What’s the best gift you ever gave?
• Funniest family tradition?

Asking positive emotional questions will ensure you stay in those good memories.

Everyone has things that interest them in their free time. They may be mainstream or niche, but our little joys are what drive our happiness in crazy times! Part of the job is identifying the thing(s) that make her feel happy and then diving in deeper. 

• What was your favorite thing to do during the summers?
• What do you know more about than anyone?
• Tell me about what your perfect day would be.
• How did you first get into “X” (horseback riding, Pokemon, fashion)?
• What about X makes you so happy?
• What has been your favorite time doing X?

Not all of these will give you an exact answer, but when you can start adding all of the answers together, you get a clear picture of what brings her joy. Now you can ask more about it and bring her more joy!

Let’s be honest, we all like to talk about ourselves a bit, whether we admit it or not. And when we get good questions, teeing up a nice little self compliment, well, that’s just gonna make me love you more!

• When do you feel the most beautiful?
• What part of you gets the most compliments?
• What’s your favorite part of your body?
• What’s your amazing weird talent?
• If you could save one outfit from your home in a fire, what would it be?

One important tip I have for you is to perfect the art of the follow-up question. Don’t ask one random question after another — build on what she has to say by asking why, when, and how.

Knowing people’s relationship to money is important, but you can’t just outright ask about that. Talk about being rude.  

Instead, I recommend tangentially asking what it is about money that makes them feel joy and happiness.  

• What things do you like to splurge on?
• Are you saving up for anything at the moment?
• What souvenirs do you buy yourself on trips?
• Do you know what you want your retirement to look like?

You want to see if and how you figure into a future with them, and finding out some good information while making them feel love and joy is clutch!  

Hypotheticals are fun to ask, too:

• If you won the lottery, after paying off all your bills and debt, what would be the first thing(s) you would do?
• If someone paid for you to do whatever you wanted, all day, all expenses paid, what would you do?
• You can go for one week, solo, on a vacation, all expenses paid, where do you go?

The way they answer such questions is important. If they say they want to buy a sports car and cruise down Route 66, that may not be the future you see. But if they say, “Set up college funds for my siblings and take us both on a fun adventure vacation,” it hits differently.

Let’s be real, if you like her, you want her to like you. Lots! So, it’s good to ask questions that are going to help her reinforce those feelings of love toward you.  

• What song makes you think of me?
• When did you realize you wanted to spend more time with me?
• What do I do that makes you feel the best?
• When did you first fall in love with me?
• When were you proudest of me?

It’s important to remind each other of the good times as well. Especially as a relationship goes on, it can get predictable or uneventful. Bring the love out with these questions. It’s also fun to ask other couples these questions and watch their love glow up!

If you guys are serious and looking toward the future, asking about your possible future home is definitely a good way to get those love juices flowing. Women, in general, like to nest. That is the tendency to arrange one’s immediate surroundings, such as your home or work station, to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable, or in control. When it comes to home décor, they usually outpace us by a lot.  Let’s feed into that fun and imagine our future together!

• What does our home look like, physically? Outside? Inside? Any particular style? (modern, traditional) 
• How many rooms should there be and for what purpose will they be used?  

For example, what is important for me or us to be able to do at home (relax, work, make love, study, meditate, play guitar, be with friends?) Make time to describe rooms that are particularly important to you (kitchen, craft room, bathroom, family room).

Keeping the love flame going is part of the whole fun thing in relationships. When you get to dip back into those memories or look forward to the future together, it’s replaying all those wonderful memories and emotions and making them deeper and more profound. 

At the end of the day, it’s going through these life events, and the communication around them that is going to build the foundation for a lasting love.

The trick with questions is that you want and hope to evoke a feeling.  

If someone is asking you about the most exciting times of your life, you might get amped up talking about you as you connect with the energy you had at the time of the memory. On the other hand, if you ask people about sad things, they tend to feel sad. If you ask people about funny times, they tend to laugh. This is a great example of emotional leadership.

As a man seeking to woo a woman, you need to learn how to lead the conversation and hopefully the emotions with it.