Should I Let This One Go or Tell Her How I Feel?

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I met a girl and we hit it off and spent a lot of time together for a month. She even went as far as to tell me she was very happy having me in her life and planned on keeping me around for a while.

Two days later, she dumped me. I found out later she had gotten out of an eight-month relationship two weeks before I met her (bad timing). She now says she is afraid of a relationship right now.

Should I let this one go, or do tell her how I feel and wait it out if need be?

-Spencer M. (California)

Expert’s Answer:

Hey Spencer,

It sounds like this girl doesn’t know what she wants. Yes, there’s a possibility that you’re the rebound. But there’s also the possibility that this girl had forgotten what it felt like to be happy in a relationship and got scared and ran away.

What is your gut telling you? Is she being communicative at all? If she dropped you like a hammer on a snail and hasn’t even text or called, then it might be time to move on.

If she’s made effort to reach out to you, even just as a friend, then it’s likely she has feelings for you. She’s probably not ready to act on them.

If you really like her, then tell her how you feel and wait until she’s over her ex. If the thought of being around her but not being with her is too much to bear, then you need to take care of yourself and move on.

Let us know how it turns out,


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