Why Are Older Females Attracted to Me?

Why Are Older Females Attracted To Me
Updated:
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

Reader Question:

I’m now 34 years old and five years single. Most of my friends have a relationship but I don’t get out much. So I hit the dating sites but I get almost no answers. If a woman answers, she’s mostly older than me. This is a problem as I want children of my own one day.

Why are older females sometimes attracted to me and younger females not? How can I attract attractive young women? What are they looking for?

-Mike (Belgium)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Women and men look for basically the same thing in a romantic partner: health, kindness and intelligence. After that, men tend to prefer youth and beauty and women tend to prefer resource potential.

But the art of mating involves subtly displaying these traits without looking like you are bragging or flashy. At the same time, the mating dance involves care-giving behaviors (like opening doors or offering to do a favor for someone) without sacrificing so much that you look needy and desperate. Quite an art.

Finally, perhaps the most important aspect of the mating game is to know your target. Find a woman who is in the same financial class, looks class and age range as you. Sometimes men shoot a little lower and find a great mate who really appreciates them.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See Dr. Wendy's full bio »

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