Are Men Picky Daters

Men's Dating

Are Men Picky Daters?

Sam Stieler

Written by: Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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We like to entertain the cultural belief that men are anything but picky daters and are ready, willing and able to sleep with every woman they meet. But is this “horndog” viewpoint actually true?

Minimum physical attractiveness.

From a biological standpoint, the theory men just want to sleep with anyone they can get their hands on is pretty much true. As long as a woman meets a certain minimum level of physical attractiveness, a man will happily have sex with her.

This minimum level of physical attractiveness varies from man to man, but all men have their bottom line, and as long as a woman meets or exceeds it, that man will feel the physical urge to be with her.

It’s important to note this minimum level of physical attractiveness tends to be lower than most men will actually admit.

It’s also important to note that even though a man feels a woman is physically attractive enough to sleep with, that doesn’t mean he finds her physically attractive enough to actually date or enter into a relationship with.

And that’s because the decision to date or enter into a relationship with a woman is more mental than physical in nature.


“You don’t need to relax your standards

to end up with the right woman.”

Where men get picky.

When a man selects a woman to sleep with, date or enter into a relationship with, he takes a lot of social factors into consideration, and that’s why men tend to be picky about who they end up with, even though their procreative drive urges them to sow their wild oats far and wide.

Generally speaking, the more attractive a woman is, the more social status she will give the man who sleeps, dates or enters into a relationship with her. Men know this, which is why most men want to be with the most attractive women possible, even if he shares a more powerful connection with less physically attractive women.

These are the facts. We all know them, even if we don’t always like to admit them. Instead of debating their reality, it’s smarter to take a minute to discuss which drive should guide your sexual, dating and relationship decisions.

Is it your physical drive to be with anyone who meets your minimum standards, or is it your mental desire to accumulate social status by landing the hottest possible partner?

Exploring both worlds.

Being picky isn’t always a bad thing. How your woman impacts your social standing will affect how you feel about yourself and how you feel about your relationship.

You’re more likely to invest in a relationship with a woman who makes you feel accomplished than a relationship with a woman whose appearance you feel doesn’t match up to how you see yourself.

On the other hand, most men can benefit from developing their personal confidence in order to both enjoy themselves more and so they can select women they feel a powerful connection with, regardless of whether or not she’s the hottest girl in his orbit.

Most men would do well to relax and let themselves enjoy a little more casual sex with women they might not want to date seriously but whom they still enjoy sharing a sensual relationship with, and most men would also benefit from dating a woman they find very attractive who provides additional benefits to his life other than simply looking good on his arm.

You don’t need to relax your standards and your high personal expectations to enjoy life more and end up with the right woman to meet your needs. You just need to shift where you place value in your life away from other people’s opinions.

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