Does Appearance Really Matter To Women

Men's Dating

Does Appearance Really Matter to Women?

Bethany Heinesh

Written by: Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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When it comes to body image, guys crack me up. I watch you spend thousands of dollars on gym memberships, expensive jeans and fancy watches all to impress a girl. To be frank, you have no idea what really makes a woman’s motor run.

You worry about all the wrong things. When it comes to physical appearance, we care a lot less than you think we do. Sure, we want our guy to look fly, but when you get down to business, a great personality wins a woman’s affection every time. Not many women have Calvin Klein jeans, buff biceps and six packs on their list of Mr. Right’s “must-have” characteristics.

When it comes to physical appearance, here’s the lowdown:

Physical appearance does matter.

We want a man who takes care of himself. Specifically, we want a guy to show up looking his best, with a well-coordinated outfit (at least make it look like you tried), clean hands and zero body odor. Yes, Speedstick is your friend. These are absolutely non-negotiable when it comes to what a woman expects from a potential suitor. Violate these guidelines and you can guarantee you’ll go home alone and never hear from her again.

Remember, fellas, women are sizing you up the second you walk in the door. She’s looking for every reason to discard you like yesterday’s news. Don’t give her any indication that you’re some loser before you even get the opportunity to stun her with your wit and charm. You need to seem put together and confident to woo a woman.


“You may not think you’re anything special to look

at, but if you’re a good guy, the woman you’re

destined to be with will see you as a rock star.”

Yet, physical appearance doesn’t matter at all.

I will scream this from the rooftops until my dying breath, “Women are more interested in how a man makes her feel than how he looks.” I’ve been on all kinds of sites where men give other men relationship advice — the blind leading the blind. Men are telling each other they need to bulk up and look like a hard body to win a girl’s heart. This is a perpetuated lie that must stop.

I once met a man who was smokin’ hot on the outside, but he had a trash can for a soul. Before the end of dinner, I couldn’t wait to get away from him because he had become the ugliest man I’d ever seen. The best nights I’ve had were with guys the world considers “underdogs.” A guy could be so-so in the looks department, but if he has that special something and makes a girl smile, he’ll be Prince Charming before the sun comes up.

Women have all kinds of ideas about what is “attractive.”

Men are visual beings and it’s a woman’s beauty that is first attractive to you. Because you operate this way, you assume women do. This is simply not true. We are attracted to intelligence, humor, depth, chivalry, integrity and character. You may not think you’re anything special to look at, but if you’re a good guy, the woman you’re destined to be with will see you as a rock star.

Women are feeling creatures, emotional and moody. That’s just how we were made. Because we are guided by our intuition, emotions dominate every decision we make. If we feel good in your presence, we will want to be in your presence. It’s just that simple. If we feel safe, valued and beautiful, we will naturally gravitate to you. We won’t be able to get enough of you, even if you’re bald, have a third eye or walk funny!

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