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The Short Version: Some women feel tremendous pressure in changing themselves before they feel worthy of attracting a romantic partner, but dating coach and relationship expert Angela N. Holton teaches them that authenticity and self-love are pivotal keys to finding love. Through her Love Sanctuary private coaching practice, online group courses, and speaking engagements, Angela emphasizes what she calls The Conscious Dating Method™, which incorporates dating with greater intention, self-love, and self-awareness. She believes that women who date with the intention of learning more about themselves, their ideal partners, tools and preparation for a relationship, and becoming the person they’re seeking, have a greater understanding of their needs in a relationship and attract higher-quality partners. Angela’s company focuses on teaching women the practical tools they need to improve their self-worth to build the relationships and lives they deeply desire.
On his popular TV show “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” RuPaul concludes every episode with the same bit of wisdom: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?”
RuPaul is certainly not alone in touting the concept of self-love. In fact, research shows that loving yourself can make you happier, healthier, and more productive.
Many dating coaches and relationship experts don’t give self-love the credit it deserves, instead focusing solely on dating tactics and changing our habits and those of our potential suitors. That can be particularly true for women, as they’re often told to alter their appearance, hide their interests, or stifle their sense of humor to attract partners.
Angela N. Holton takes a drastically different approach because she believes that women need to be authentic and understand their own desires. Her primary goal through her Love Sanctuary coaching practice is to ensure that women nurture their individual needs, address self-judgment, and love themselves wholly.
Angela didn’t set out to be a dating coach, though she has always wanted to help others throughout her life. After her beloved dog passed away in 2014, she realized she wanted to recommit her life to serving others.
“The death of my dog cracked my heart open, and it poured out old, residual pain I had stored deeply inside. That was an opportunity for me to focus on healing my heart and pouring self-love and compassion into myself. Through my own pain, I was assigned my life’s calling and purpose and inspired to demonstrate self-love to others — including the good, bad, and ugly parts of it,” she told us.
Out of that call to action, Love Sanctuary was born. Over the years, Angela has developed a variety of coaching methods and strategies to help women apply her philosophies in their own lives. Whether they work with her one on one, take a workshop, or read one of her books, Angela hopes that all of her clients learn to accept themselves and find love on their own terms.
“I am an expert in understanding my own self-love journey and helping women learn the tools I apply into my own life. If women love themselves, they can improve their careers, their health, their relationships,” she said.
Angela has created a new and modern approach to dating for modern women called The Conscious Dating Method™. Through this revolutionary approach, Angela encourages women to shift their mindset around dating from “seeking” to “becoming”.
That simple mindset shift alone helps her clients navigate the dating space with less frustration and confusion and more ease and fun.
“Each date is an opportunity to discover more about oneself and practice skills of relationship,” she said.
The dating method shows women how to recognize and break old relationship patterns and belief systems, end self-sabotage, acquire new tools to build meaningful relationships, and, above all, cultivate a greater sense of self-worth.
“My clients and I speak often about vulnerability in relationships,” Angela said. “Vulnerability can be a scary thing but you cannot create real intimacy without it.” “Many women want a deeply loving relationship, but are often either afraid or uncertain of how to build it. In order to connect deeply and meaningfully with a partner, one must have skills in communication and vulnerability.
Angela teaches her clients practical ways to build intimacy with themselves, first, including meditation and mindfulness — which encourages them to live in the present moment and pay closer attention to themselves and their thoughts. She also asks her clients to keep a journal which allows them to explore their emotional needs and discover more about the inner workings of their hearts and minds.
These practices in self-awareness help Angela’s clients make life changes that benefit them and their relationships. She measures her success by the lives that she touches and the clients that report dramatic changes in their lives and in their behaviors.
“I am about solutions and results, so I teach practical strategies and tools. The changes are immeasurable, and when they happen, it reaffirms that the practices work,” Angela said.
She attributes the success of Love Sanctuary to practicing what she preaches, meaning Angela works hard at loving herself so she can help other women do the same.
“I pour copious amounts of love into myself, so I can teach other women to do the same,” she told us.
Some dating coaches offer tips on flirting or presentation that they say will make clients better daters. But Angela wants to help women dive much deeper and have more meaningful relationships with themselves first. It’s only when they’re satisfied with who they are, she believes, that they can attract the type of partners they seek.
“There are lots of dating tips, but it doesn’t help women create sustainable relationships with men or with themselves,” Angela said.
So, depending on the client’s needs, Angela has a variety of coaching options. One of these is a one-on-one coaching program, available in three- and six-month packages, in which Angela helps clients set goals, reach objectives, and stay accountable. These coaching sessions begin with two 45-minute phone calls monthly and include regular email correspondence.
Angela’s Conscious Dating Method™ group class helps women learn to focus on their own needs, even when they’re searching for a partner.
Her group coaching class, The Conscious Dating Method™, is one of Love Sanctuary’s most popular offerings. It is an eight-week live online class that attracts women of all ages — and from around the world. Participants take part in regular group calls and learn powerful relationship tools each week and are encouraged and held accountable to put new skills into practice. Angela assigns her students weekly “Love Work Exercises” — which are take-home tasks and handouts that help clients practice lessons in their everyday lives.
For example, one of the weekly assignments is for women in the course to go on a date and then find something they learned about themselves and journal the process. “With this approach there are no such thing as bad dates, because if you learn something new about yourself then it’s not wasted time,” Angela says.
“Every dating opportunity is a chance for women to learn about themselves and grow their emotional maturity,” Angela said. “She also might learn something about her own forms of self-sabotage.”
Angela also holds day-long workshops on a variety of topics — which have included Self-Compassion, Mantras and Affirmations, and Change Your Thinking-Change Your Life. She also teaches sessions on meditation and mindfulness for corporate clients.
For women who want to engage with Angela’s philosophies on their own time, her books are an excellent place to start. Angela’s ebook “The Love Sanctuary Guide: 30 Days to Deepen Your Relationship to Love & Abundance” shares some of the methods from her courses and lectures that readers can practice at home. For readers who want more tips on self-love, Angela co-wrote “111 Morning Meditations: Create Your Day With Intention” to direct readers to more mindfulness practices.
One of her next projects is creating The Conscious Dating Method™ Workbook Journal, which will make just some of her course’s “Love Work” exercises available to everyone.
“I’m creating a workbook so women can see their dating and relationship progress and share inner reflections on their own,” Angela told us. “It’s a powerful opportunity for growth.” The journal workbook will be available on Amazon next month.
She will soon embark on her first Conscious Dating Method™ speaking tour, with dates in seven cities around the country. The focus will be on clearing out the confusion and frustration in today’s dating and sharing tools with women on how to gain greater clarity of their core values, identifying their ideal partner, define the type of relationship they desire and how to take practical steps in dating with intention.
“I want to shift the narrative so women feel empowered while dating. They’re not as powerless as they may think they are,” Angela said.
All of Angela’s work focuses on this same core theme: encouraging women to believe they are worthy of what they want. Over her nearly 5 years as a dating coach, she has witnessed the power of self-belief.
“There are women who have gone years without dating, and, a month or two into the course, they’re dating. And, by the conclusion of the course, some women are in long-term relationships. That makes my heart smile. Women think that they have to wait for someone to find them, but, like everything in life, they have to be intentional, and they have to go out and get what they want,” she said.
The best piece of advice Angela said she can give to women worrying about finding partners? Live your best life for you.
“When you’re out there living your life and feeling purposeful it’s an attractive quality and it’s what piques the interest of someone else. Become the person that you’re seeking and the right person will find their way to you,” she said.