Are Women Picky Daters

Women's Dating

Are Women Picky Daters?

Bethany Heinesh

Written by: Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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When it comes to dating and relationships, we women are often accused of being too picky. Guys complain that we’re always seeking out things to nitpick about rather than focusing on a guy’s more admirable qualities. To some extent, this is true and what’s wrong with that?

When we choose a partner, we are actually checking a guy out to see if he’s marriage material.

Since the age of five, when we began watching Disney movies, we’ve convinced ourselves we must find a Prince Charming to be complete. The “tall, dark, handsome, rescue you on a white horse” type that starred in those movies set the bar pretty high.

We’re always on the lookout for evidence that our guy doesn’t measure up to that fantasy so we can classify him in the “He’s Not ‘The One'”category.

We are gorgeous, fabulous women and any guy we choose should consider himself lucky to be graced with our presence. Why shouldn’t we be selective?

Some of us take things too far.

In our search for the perfect mate, we mistakenly look for the perfect guy. Newsflash: The perfect guy is a mythical creature as make believe as the Tooth Fairy, leprechauns and the Easter Bunny.

If you’re so blessed to find the perfect guy for you, fantastic! But if you’re on the search for a man free from flaws and character defects, you’re wasting your time.

It’s my opinion that to settle for anything less than the best for myself would be sacrilege. That being said, let me also say that as time has gone by, I have become a lot more forgiving toward men and have lowered my expectations considerably.

My Mr. Right absolutely had to be this, that and the other thing or else he was deemed undateable. I was picky to the point of self-sabotage, and I’m now convinced I let a lot of great guys get away in my obsessive pursuit to find my unrealistic ideal man.

While I encourage you to be finicky about who you choose to become intimate with, I also want to caution you about having unrealistic expectations. As you continue your search to find a man who’s right for you, it is possible to be too idealistic and too picky.

It’s important to keep an open mind and not restrict yourself to preconceived notions about what you think your man should be like. When you finally do meet The One, I’d be willing to bet he is going to come with a bag of surprises and he will only closely resemble the image you have in your mind of who he is, what he wears and what he’s about.


“None of us want to end up spinsters with 50 cats,

no matter what kind of brave face we show to the world.”

When it comes to core values, don’t compromise.

Religion, political affiliation, certain physical qualities, similar interests and a comparable value system are crucial to the success of a romantic relationship.

These areas are vital to your own happiness, and you should not be so quick to throw in the towel when it comes to the level of contentment you will inevitably feel five years down the road with your partner.

If you sacrifice any one of these fundamental aspects of the person you want to spend forever with, trust me, you’ll regret it later.

If he bites his nails, drives a clunky car, wears glasses, has a dorky laugh or possesses some other quirky idiosyncrasy you might initially find off-putting, give the guy a chance.

The traits that seem annoying at first may develop into the very qualities you find endearing once you get to know him.

Let’s be real, none of us want to end up spinsters with 50 cats, no matter what kind of brave face we show to the world.

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