He Stopped Speaking to Me. What Do I Do?

I was seeing someone outside of my relationship for about a year and I ended up falling in love. I was too afraid of my feelings for the other guy, so I would argue and fight with him just to push him away.

Now he has decided to stop speaking to me. We also work together, so he ignores me at work as well. I ended my relationship and cut off all ties with guys he was uncomfortable with me being around, but he does not seem to care.

What should I do?

-Lea (New York)

Hey Lea,

It sounds like you are in a very uncomfortable situation after trying your best to make your relationship work with him. It can absolutely be tricky when you are romantically involved with a co-worker and then it does not work out.

My advice is to act as professionally as possible in your work environment and address any unresolved issues with him outside of your office.

I know you put efforts into making him more comfortable by giving up other relationships, so it is a big loss that he stopped communicating.

Unfortunately, you can’t make him talk to you, which I know is very upsetting, so it is important to take care of yourself, figure out the most comfortable way to tell him how you feel (if you are still interested in doing so) and focus on moving forward.

Take care,

Rachel

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.