He Stopped Speaking to Me. What Do I Do?

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem.

See full bio »

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I was seeing someone outside of my relationship for about a year and I ended up falling in love. I was too afraid of my feelings for the other guy, so I would argue and fight with him just to push him away.

Now he has decided to stop speaking to me. We also work together, so he ignores me at work as well. I ended my relationship and cut off all ties with guys he was uncomfortable with me being around, but he does not seem to care.

What should I do?

-Lea (New York)

Rachel Dack’s Answer:

Hey Lea,

It sounds like you are in a very uncomfortable situation after trying your best to make your relationship work with him. It can absolutely be tricky when you are romantically involved with a co-worker and then it does not work out.

My advice is to act as professionally as possible in your work environment and address any unresolved issues with him outside of your office.

I know you put efforts into making him more comfortable by giving up other relationships, so it is a big loss that he stopped communicating.

Unfortunately, you can’t make him talk to you, which I know is very upsetting, so it is important to take care of yourself, figure out the most comfortable way to tell him how you feel (if you are still interested in doing so) and focus on moving forward.

Take care,


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.