How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I’m Not Ready for Marriage?

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Well, first of all, did he ask? If he hasn’t proposed or asked for a dowry, then you’re probably freaking out over nothing. But let’s say for argument’s sake that he did ask for your hand in marriage or has been seriously hinting at it.

Example, “When do you see us tying the knot?” or “We should totally go to the Eiffel Tower for our five-year anniversary.” If this is the case and you know you’re not ready for marriage, then you need to be 100 percent honest with him.

If you love him and he loves you, it shouldn’t matter when you get married. Sit him down and explain that you’ve noticed him bringing up the subject a lot. The reasoning behind not being ready is completely up to you.

Maybe you’re concentrating on your career? That’s fair. Or maybe you want to finish up your post-education before taking on a new responsibility. Also, very fair.

But if you know in your gut that he’s just not the right guy for you, that will never change. You either know or you don’t know and if you’re spending your time trying to figure it out, you should probably be 100 percent honest with not only him, but also yourself.

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